Dumbest thing heard on the radio

Ambulance (after being dispatched to a job across town): Dispatch, is that residence on the left or right side of the street?
Dispatch: Stand by... (pause for about 10 seconds)... its going to be the left side of the street.
Supervisor (Over radio): Yay google
 
OPA That Sh*t!

Upon arriving on scene and finding the "congested" patient A&Ox4 but breathing at 38 times a minute, Unit 4 notifies dispatch of the possible delay and reroute.

Dispatch responds with: "If the patient hits 40 bpm, drop an OPA and start bagging."

Unit 4: "the patient is awake and talking."

Dispatch (with conviction this time): Check your scope of practice. IF the patient hits 40 bpm, drop an OPA and start bagging him."

Unit 4: "sure thing." ***throws the radio in the truck and continues patient care, excluding the whole OPA thing...
 
We have a frequent flyer who calls 5-7 times a week, most often between 0100-0600hrs, and typically for "difficulty breathing" or a "headache". Last week she called in the afternoon, and the dispatch went like this..

Fireboard to Unit 1

Unit 1, goahead

Make a response to One Twenty Three Main St Apartment number 1 .. 1 2 3 Main St Apartment number 1 .... Today we're gonna go with an injured person, a 30 Alpha 2.
 
Handsome Rob said:
Upon arriving on scene and finding the "congested" patient A&Ox4 but breathing at 38 times a minute, Unit 4 notifies dispatch of the possible delay and reroute.

Dispatch responds with: "If the patient hits 40 bpm, drop an OPA and start bagging."

Unit 4: "the patient is awake and talking."

Dispatch (with conviction this time): Check your scope of practice. IF the patient hits 40 bpm, drop an OPA and start bagging him."

Unit 4: "sure thing." ***throws the radio in the truck and continues patient care, excluding the whole OPA thing...
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I wonder if they would have been willing to clean up the vomit...
 
I always love it when dispatch tries to tell us how to do our job:

I was transferring pt from little ED #A to big ED #B. Told dispatch that we were transporting; they asked from where (They dispatched me there, sme dispatcher).
I told them from #A to #B. I was told that if we were on the property of A we had to go to their ED. I explained that I was doing a transfer from A to B. Got told the same thing.
I told them that I couldn't take the patient back. Was told that I would be written up. I said ok.
When I got back that day the supervisor was waiting with my write up. I asked her to research it; she ended up scratching out my name and writing in the dispatchers name.
 
Earlier this week I overheard dispatch tone out for a man in his 70's that had dialed 911 from his cell phone. He had rolled his 6-wheeler and his legs were trapped under it. (ALWAYS wear your seatbelt.)

When the on-call crew left the station they asked for an update. According to dispatch, he was "conscious, breathing (duh) and VERY, VERY alert."
 
DISPATCH: P6, respond to beach near (address redacted) for a kayak in the water.
P6: Responding. P6 to dispatch, isn't that where they're supposed to go?
DISPATCH: P6, Kayak is in the ocean. Caller is unsure whether or not the kayaker is in distress or not.
P6: Rogggggggggggggggger.
About 5 minutes later:
P6: Dispatch, we're on arrival.
DISPATCH: P6, the kayak is now a telephone pole. You can go back in service.
P6: received. You want us to check to see if the phone pole is in distress or not?
 
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Now I know why it is the largest "fired" district they can't find their way around...lol
 
During a flood our VFD was sent to a home that was in the flooded area by a concerned dog owner that reported her dog was chained up in the yard and she was afraid it would drown. When the unit cleared the scene another fire unit called and asked
"what kind of dog was it"
the first unit replied
"A tree climbing dog"
 
Unit 498: 498 show us at destination, be advised we have one flight of stairs about 25 steps.
Dispatch: 498 copy that, have fun.
 
We were down on coverage yesterday and the supervisor was out running calls.

supv: Dispatch 123.
Dispatch: 123 go ahead.
Supv: 123 is complete. Can we go home now (About 1 hour after his shift was supposed to end)
Dispatch: I copied that you were complete. What was that last part?
Supv: Just wondering if we could go home now.
Dispatch: we are at one care status but I guess If you really need to.
Supv: Copy enroute back to the main.

*Facepalm* Wish I could do that.
 
pd channel

pd talking to county saying that their radio is having issues

then out of the blue the county dispatched tells the pd to get the corn cob out of your ear

ha only in my county
 
My favorite is when my dispatcher or driver says the patient's address over the radio, or adds, "...for the (medical condition)." :glare:


(We're volunteer and don't have anything encrypted.... anyone could listen in on our radios whenever they wanted.)
 
sirengirl said:
My favorite is when my dispatcher or driver says the patient's address over the radio, or adds, "...for the (medical condition)." :glare:


(We're volunteer and don't have anything encrypted.... anyone could listen in on our radios whenever they wanted.)
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Thats standard dispatch information for us.
 
TransportJockey said:
Thats standard dispatch information for us.
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Right but my point is that we are on public radios. It flirts with HIPAA violation if someone got really upset about it.
 
sirengirl said:
Right but my point is that we are on public radios. It flirts with HIPAA violation if someone got really upset about it.
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No it doesn't.
Read this: http://psc.apcointl.org/2010/08/26/hipaa-radio-emd/
Fortunately, HIPAA permits any disclosures of PHI that are necessary for patient treatment purposes. This covers most types of transmissions that covered entities need to make during dispatch and EMS communications.
<snip>
So dispatch agencies can transmit identifiable information to ambulance services, including the patient’s name and address, if necessary to enable the ambulance service to locate and identify the patient.
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Yet where I am we are told to call in to the hospital on cell phones to give our "m/f patient aged number years with medical condition be there in 5." Perhaps it's a ploy for Verizon to get more cell usage.
 
sirengirl said:
Yet where I am we are told to call in to the hospital on cell phones to give our "m/f patient aged number years with medical condition be there in 5." Perhaps it's a ploy for Verizon to get more cell usage.
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Heh, no that's good practice. Hospitals in TX (at least where I worked) wanted phone reports because the phone lines were recorded. Here in NM we give our incoming reports to all the facilities via radio.
 
TransportJockey said:
Heh, no that's good practice. Hospitals in TX (at least where I worked) wanted phone reports because the phone lines were recorded. Here in NM we give our incoming reports to all the facilities via radio.
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I WISH they would give us radios. Real radios. I've been harping on the station chief about it. He told me that the county estimates we saved them 6 MILLION dollars last year (as we are BLS volunteer and run off donations, the only "support" we get is the linens we use from the hospital, and we happen to run in an extremely geriatric community), yet they won't give us county f#*%ing radios.... Cheapskates.
 
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