Dumbest thing heard on the radio

[TransportJockey]

Not mine, but from one of my buddies in a neighboring county

Medic 1: Medic one, Medic seven, you guys are on fire
Medic 7: Medic seven, Medic one, yeah, it's been a crazy night, huh?
Dispatch: Dispatch, all units, Friendly reminder; Keep the chatter to the tac channels
Medic 1: Medic one, dispatch, copy that, but seven is literally on fire, there are flames coming from their cab.

That would not be a fun transmission if you're Medic 7

 

[adamjh3]

That would not be a fun transmission if you're Medic 7

Well, it got their meal-break extended... or shortened, depending on how you look at it.

 

[Stew]

ALS: Sitrep
Dispatch: Go ahead
ALS: Conscious 5 yo pt, APGAR of 10...

or a brand new student medic,

crew: sitrep
Dispatch: go ahead
crew: Conscious pt, gcs 16 no further backup...

 

[Captn' Tuddle]

911: 911 do you need fire, police or medical?
Caller:Someone took my kids! OMG OMG...I put them to bed last night and now they're gone!
911:Ma'am I need to know you address..
Caller:*Gives address* Oh, Billy and Lisa and Kim..they're all gone!
911: OK, pd is on the way, how many kids are missing?
Caller: Kids? No! My gnomes! G-N-O-M-E-S! They're gone!
911: ......

 

[DrParasite]

Dispatch:unit xx you have an assignment
unit xx: go with the assignment
dispatch: respond to xyz intersection fooooor an unknown, check your pager for a message.
unit xx: received responding

The call was for 2 naked men climbing in the trees.

EMS supervisor: dispatch, do we have a call at xyz intersection?
dispatch: yep, but you are going to call me about the nature.
EMS supervisor: ok

he is advised of the situation over the phone

a few minutes later

EMS supervisor: supervisor to dispatch, we have nothing showing...

and he caught himself before he asked for he asked for a description of the involved parties LOL

 

[mycrofft]

FUnniest thing: "Uh, u-h-h-h-h, unh...".

We had a brand new sergeant who occasioanlly was a crew chief on the backup pumper or the tanker. He was ok, until you handed him a microphone. Might as well as given him a nice shot of stupid juice, he was simply unable to use a mic.

 

[LucidResq]

590 to anyone, ANYONE in the Foods Department. Can someone please just bring me some MILK already?! It's an emergency.

-Me, disgruntled, working at the Amusement Park, after trying to find or have someone bring me a little milk (for a kid with some dental trauma ) for over 30 minutes with no help.

 

[WolfmanHarris]

Was trying to catch a nap at one of the bases, had crashed for all of ten minutes when we got called out. Picked up the mic to book on:

"3... uh.. 3114. No. Wait. 3141. No. 3114. Ya. 3114, on the air. Sorry, forgot who I was."

Dispatch: "Ya, I get that sometimes too. You're on a Code 4 to..." (Laughing in the background)

Lesson learned. Release the PTT until the brain kicks in.

 

[Stephanie.]

One night while dispatching.


Our director is VERY strict about what is said of the radio, and this one particular department switches things up from time to time!


Unit: We're responding to XXXX address.
Dispatch: How many personnel onboard?
Unit: Dos Equis!


I was laughing so hard, I couldn't even receive the message.

Another time (SAME DEPT) asked why we always answer 'Available' when they check clear from a scene. Per our director, thats what he wants us to say. The dept said "what if we aren't available, what if we want to stop off and play horseshoes or somthing. I said well I guess then you will need to check "Out of service"...
Every single time they check 'OOS' when clear from a call...

 

[Stephanie.]

C5: Ummm Look for the Big red trucks with the flashy lights<_<...

A6: Ahh Right:blush:

I had a similar one, where I had my Chief and a Brush truck responding to a possible illegal burn.

C26: C26 onscene, several tires burning, is there a deputy enroute?
Dispatch: C26 on, affirmative deputy is responding.
C26: B26 whats your ETA.
B26: about 10 minutes Chief.

**15 minutes goes by**


B26: Chief26 can you advise a better location.
C26: Uhhh.. look for the green truck at the end of a rock drive way... ohh and the BIG black column of smoke!
B26: Recieved. Dispatch, were gonna be onscene

 

[EMSLaw]

Yeah, we've gotten several fire calls for standbys where it's "On XXX, near the intersection of XXX". And then, "Don't worry, you can't miss it." Usually there's half a dozen cop cars parked DIRECTLY in front of the fire. ;p

Funny how the ambulance and PD are always there well before any fire trucks.

 

[Mountain Res-Q]

Fire District gets dispatched out on a PSA; "elderly woman reports a strange sound coming from here TV."

Response: 1 Chief, 2 District Engines, and 1 State Engine. Yet another example of hoe Fire tries to justify it's budget by sending too much to too little.

Units get on scene and 60 seconds latter report: "The strange sound was from the alarm clock placed atop her TV. She forgot she had set the alarm as a reminder the 'Day's of Our Lives' was on."

A dozen Firefighters to reminder a woman that her stories were on? Firefighters are my heros...

 

[mycrofft]

Referring to my posts here LAST WINTER...

The stupid airman who asked the two depuities on tyape if they were excrmenting him when they called to ask for air cover on a UFO, made his final dispatch transmission:

(Chief 2): "Where was the fire again!?".
(Control): "Reported as dumpster by the Commissary".
(Chief 2): "There's nothing here!! Where is it!? How can I find it!!!?".
(Control): "Uh, follow the smoke...".

 

[WannaBeFlight]

Heard a disptacher refer to the patient's condition as "Done fell out"!!! Only in WNC. lol

 

[EMSaviator]

Got toned out of the station the other night for a 10 YO M that got hit in the rock with a head. Had to ask if dispatch could send a DOT crew to transport the rock. Laughed for a good 10 minutes

 

[EMSLaw]

Heard a disptacher refer to the patient's condition as "Done fell out"!!! Only in WNC. lol

We had one that went basically like this:

"XXX Police, XXX EMS, respond to 123 First Street for 82 year old fall victim. Repeating, XXX Police, XXX EMS, respond to 123 First Street. Victim of gravity. Time out 01:30 hours."

We cleared after an RMA (and a lift assist) with "Gravity no longer an issue."

 

[adamjh3]

"No, it doesn't appear that the patient's normal state is throwing his feces at his neighbors..."

 

[1badassEMT-I]

We had one that went basically like this:

"XXX Police, XXX EMS, respond to 123 First Street for 82 year old fall victim. Repeating, XXX Police, XXX EMS, respond to 123 First Street. Victim of gravity. Time out 01:30 hours."

We cleared after an RMA (and a lift assist) with "Gravity no longer an issue."

Now thats funny.

 

[Stephanie.]

Heard this over the radio the other day, from an 911 service in Ft. Worth.

Medic: "He just lost his load!"

Referring to the items another person was carrying on the trailer he was towing.

 

[TraumaNerd]

1)me-Called en route with full arrest...
Radio-Whats the pt status?

2)me-radio can use advise further on the location
radio-look for the cedar trees...:unsure:

3) made run to syncopal at a church
cleared with a refusal
crew to radio were gonna be clear from the seen..pt was just moved by the spirit!