the 100% directionless thread

lightsandsirens5

Forum Deputy Chief
3,970
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Altered mentation definitely applies here...

Just here? Don't you mean in general?

I know it sure does for me at least. :p

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I hate those calls where a demon, errrr I mean dispatcher sends you on an IFT four hours away, 40 minutes before shift change. Then you call up hell itself, errrr I mean dispatch and jokingly tell them that you are off at 1800 and at 1800, no matter where you are, you are going to pull over, stop and kick the pt out the back. Then they don't take it as a joke and swear to send you to pick up the devil (they are being quite literal here) next shift.
 

DesertMedic66

Forum Troll
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A girl in my orientation is mad that she didn't pass her lift test. So she is complaining to the company saying that the standards should be lowered for girls and higher for guys. This is gonna be a fun orientation haha
 

adamjh3

Forum Culinary Powerhouse
1,873
6
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A girl in my orientation is mad that she didn't pass her lift test. So she is complaining to the company saying that the standards should be lowered for girls and higher for guys. This is gonna be a fun orientation haha

I hope someone pointed out that the patient's don't make themselve's lighter when there's a female on scene.

No, sucking in the gut doesn't count.
 

DesertMedic66

Forum Troll
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I hope someone pointed out that the patient's don't make themselve's lighter when there's a female on scene.

No, sucking in the gut doesn't count.

Everyone kind of blew her off. The whole male and female difference is in high school. In the real world everyone is equal and should be able to do the same exact stuff. I would love to have a patient make themselves lighter. I loved one of her comments "why do we have to do this stupid lift test if we have the power gurneys?!". Uhhh because sometimes you are going to have to lift your patient onto the gurney, whenever you use a backboard, to get the gurney into the rig, etc. She wasnt happy when I gave those answers :p
 

Anjel

Forum Angel
4,548
302
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A girl in my orientation is mad that she didn't pass her lift test. So she is complaining to the company saying that the standards should be lowered for girls and higher for guys. This is gonna be a fun orientation haha

A hate girls like that. Me and kat were just talking about this.

I can handle my own when it comes to lifting people. If you are 5'2 and 100lb soaking wet maybe you should of thought of that when you made this a career choice.
 

slb862

Forum Lieutenant
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0
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I had a girl in my Paramedic class, years ago, brag to everyone that she went to a cardiac arrest, and gave the pt. "Nitro"... there is one in every crowd/or class in this case. Oh, and the pt. died.
 

Asimurk

Forum Captain
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A hate girls like that. Me and kat were just talking about this.

I can handle my own when it comes to lifting people. If you are 5'2 and 100lb soaking wet maybe you should of thought of that when you made this a career choice.

Girls who are 5' 2" and 100lbs. should follow Zuzana and gain ten pounds.

Maybe not safe for work (it has a synonym for butt in the title, oh noes):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bVNaHSwTz_k

And for those who don't know who Zuzana is, she has implants. Can't say where though. :)
 

MrBrown

Forum Deputy Chief
3,957
23
38
Brown's Cat in the Hat hat is twisted in knots.

This is what happens when Brown gets too close to the rotor blades.
 

lightsandsirens5

Forum Deputy Chief
3,970
19
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Brown's Cat in the Hat hat is twisted in knots.

This is what happens when Brown gets too close to the rotor blades.

The last poor bugger who got too close to the rotor blades here in the inland northwest got more than his hat messed up.

Brown needs to freaking watch it!!! :p
 
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MrBrown

Forum Deputy Chief
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The last poor bugger who got too close to the rotor blades here in the inland northwest got more than his hat messed up.

Brown needs to freaking watch it!!! :p

Let Brown rephrase, Brown doesn't feel good and is discombobulated.

You know we should do a "Behind the Jumpsuit" special on Brown :p
 

Sasha

Forum Chief
7,667
11
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Monday my partner was an idiot, didn't know where the heck he was driving too half the time. It took us FOREVER to get anywhere even when I offered to GPS the destinations for him or tell him how to get there but he "knew where he was going" (at one point he was driving along the toll road... and suddenly goes "You know.. I don't know where we are... I guess i'll just keep driving 'til I do")

Yesterday I got called in for a little OT. I popped in and made sure to tell the dispatcher whose fault it was that we were late ALL day. (I wanted to do it that day but I don't know how to politely landline and tell the dispatcher your partner is an idiot with him sitting next to you.) He knew who it was, because he has a history of being just a dumbbutt.

So when we pull in to our first call, the dispatcher sends us a page "About time." We went over the radio and told him we copied his page, and if he doesn't watch it we will get lost on the way to the next call.

He was laughing too hard to respond =)
 
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MrBrown

Forum Deputy Chief
3,957
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All our Ambulances are equipped with GPS, MDTs and AVL .... hence why its hard to get lost, except if blind bugger Brown is driving :D
 

Sasha

Forum Chief
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GPS only works if you use it. I HAD GPS. I offered to GPS it for him but he kept telling me no.
 

DesertMedic66

Forum Troll
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We use the Thomas Guides (it's a mapbook). Even if we bring in our own GPS they don't like us using them.
 

Sasha

Forum Chief
7,667
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Then they'd actually have to provide us with up to date mapbooks that weren't missing random pages and teach employees how to read a map.

In the interest of full disclosure, I do not know how to read a map and have not seen the need to. I have GPS. GPS works.
 

usalsfyre

You have my stapler
4,319
108
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Just got back from pronouncing a <2mo old. Less than six hours in thus shift, and I'm ready to chuck it and GTFH.
 

lightsandsirens5

Forum Deputy Chief
3,970
19
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Then they'd actually have to provide us with up to date mapbooks that weren't missing random pages and teach employees how to read a map.

In the interest of full disclosure, I do not know how to read a map and have not seen the need to. I have GPS. GPS works.

What are you going to do in the event that a massive solar discharge fries all the GPS satellites? <_<
 

bigbaldguy

Former medic seven years 911 service in houston
4,043
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All our Ambulances are equipped with GPS, MDTs and AVL .... hence why its hard to get lost, except if blind bugger Brown is driving :D

We don't use gps here in the states brown because then we would never learn to use key maps and apparently that is one of our greatest sins :)
 
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