Patient Friendly Jokes

wanderingmedic

RN, Paramedic
448
59
28
I like to tell (the same) jokes to patients to help lighten the mood and get people to relax. What patient friendly jokes do you have?

Here are some of mine:

Did you hear about the kidnapping at the school?
It's okay, he work up.

Why did the aligator wear a vest?
because he was an in-vest-i-gator

How much beer does it take to get a tropical bird drunk?
Two-cans

Why did the can crusher quit his job?
it was soda pressing

(before IV stick) Don't worry, this won't hurt me any.
 

elshion

Forum Probie
27
4
3
Whenever I put the pulse ox on them I say "can I see your hand I just need to put this on". When one gives me their middle finger I usually say "oh so it's been that kinda day hasn't it?" It takes them a second and most laugh a good bit from it. Haven't gotten a bad reaction yet.

Also, whenever I get the billing sig I explain that "this is so we can bill your insurance, so that we don't have to come back and take one of your kidneys". I usually get a few laughs outta that one too
 

johnrsemt

Forum Deputy Chief
1,380
185
63
When I ask for a finger and they don't give me the middle finger I tell them that they missed a good chance to flip me off.
When I am getting ready to stick an IV or finger stick I tell them if it hurts to punch my partner,
 

MSDeltaFlt

RRT/NRP
1,421
32
48
Where does an 800lb gorilla sit? Anywhere it wants to.
 

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