What is your most ridiculous call?

ErinCooley

Forum Lieutenant
240
6
0
We took a guy to the ER on Saturday with a chief complaint of "green s**t times 2 months". He decided to call the ambulance at 0345.:rolleyes:
 

JPINFV

Gadfly
12,681
197
63
Just about any patient going to the ER from a SNF after 8pm. Generally after that time one of the following criteria could be assigned:

1. We've known about it all day and decided that this poor patient should wait in the ER over night instead of sending him/her when we first found out.

2. Something that could wait till morning.

3. Something that should have been a 911 call but we're gonna treat this as a non-emergent transport (love the experience from those calls, but feel bad for the patient).
 

BossyCow

Forum Deputy Chief
2,910
7
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I remember reading this question as a sample history taking example...
"So, sir... what about this condition that you have had for 2 months turned it into an emergency at 3:00 this morning"


My most ridiculous was a 20 something female with 10:10 back pain. She was telling us how excruciating the pain was, then swung at the hips and bent down behind the couch to retrieve her purse. Sat on the couch and tied her shoes. Kissed her boyfriend goodbye with a big hug and walked uphill to the rig. Sobbed all the way into the ER starting right when we turned into the hospital parking lot.

Oh.. did I mention that she told us we'd have to call her parole office because otherwise her ankle bracelet would show her in violation of the conditions of her release?
 

mikeylikesit

Candy Striper
906
11
0
I have been called to a house only to transport the husband in an emergency call. then about a half hour lady the lady of the house called in with trouble breathing...she forgot her breathing problems half way through her trip to the hospital when her "favorite song came on". turns out she didn't know which hospital her husband was at and wanted a ride...turns out that we charge a lot more than a phone call and a taxi. ;)
 

Airwaygoddess

Forum Deputy Chief
1,924
3
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Them "speical" calls......

To quote my old paramedic supervisor..... " Because of the stupidity of others we stay gainfully employed!" :rolleyes::blink::rolleyes:
 

el Murpharino

Forum Captain
424
2
0
This may not be the most ridiculous I've had, but it's pretty recent, so I can recall it easily:

Lady with back pain that's been going on all day - she calls us at 11:30 PM - she's ambulatory, is laughing with her husband when he cracks a joke at her, not moaning, groaning, wincing....but of course when asked to rate the pain, she promptly turns to me and says "oh it's a 10....this is the worst it's ever been". I proceed to ask her a second time, saying "think of a 10 as me cutting off your leg with a chainsaw"....she thinks for about .04 seconds and says "it's definitely a 10". She was ambulatory to the triage nurse in the ER waiting room....I remember her sitting in the waiting room when we left.

The best part of this is that I asked her why she thinks she needed to be transported by ambulance and not taken up by taxi - her response: "I can't afford a taxi". It sickens me that these people are allowed to breed.
 

mycrofft

Still crazy but elsewhere
11,322
48
48
They could have told us...

I was driving the three-man P-6 rescue rig on base, the call was a woman with her hand in the garbage disposal about an hour after the evening shift had gone on duty (not us, we were 24 on/24 off). We zoomed up to Wherry base housing code 3...but no Security Police. Odd. I stayed in the truck and they would call for me to bring anything they needed, while I would listen on the mre powerful truck radio and call for backup...by the way, where's the ambulance?...
About three minutes after the crewchief and the rescueman went in, out they came walking fast and straight. They got in and the "crewch" just said "Drive!".
Turns out the lady, a dependent wife whoe Airman husband worked the PM shift on base proper, was alone in the kitchen with her hand "stuck" but un-injured in the Insinkerator...across the room from the wall-mounted telephone. Turns out the other responders had not gone because they had responded to prowler calls and medical emergencies and found her undressed in suspicious circumstances as well.
My crewch just handed her a bottle of Crisco oil from by the stove, said "Pour this down the drain", and split.
 

So. IL Medic

Forum Lieutenant
135
2
0
"It feels funny when I pee"

That was the chief complaint at 03:30 from a 36 y/o f.

Does it hurt? No. Any amb pain, are you pregnant? No. Does it burn or itch? No, just feels funny. How long? Off and on for a week.

I looked at my basic partner and said it was all his. Feels funny when I pee...grumble grumble mutter.
 

Buzz

Forum Captain
295
16
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Dispatched at 02:10 for a self Dx of carpal tunnel syndrome :rolleyes:. The Pt was a block and a half away from the ED. Pt stated "It hurts when I go like this..." as he proceeded to contort his hand into something that just did not look comfortable.
 

medicp94dao

Forum Crew Member
83
4
0
Dispatched to house for unknown medical/unknown trauma. UA 26 yo male lying on side in obvious pain. pt states i fell on it....... i.e: foriegn body in rectum... I just have to ask why do they always fall on it?????
 

Medic9

Forum Lieutenant
108
1
0
I so wish I could post some of my stupid calls on here but I am with an agency that covers a small area and I am sure all it would take is someone from another agency to know who I am talking about I would have my butt in a sling.
I have had some real doozies!
 

MJordan2121

Forum Crew Member
66
4
0
Most Ridiculous

There was a call at one of the local casinos here and a guy got his finger caught in a door and it had some bruising and swelling. He called us for transport, but needless to say, the hospital was clearly visible about one block ahead. Not only could he have walked, taken a cab or used the casino transportation offered to him, he felt it absolutely necessary to take a ride in the ambulance for that entire block with nothing more than ice provided.
 

Jeremy89

Forum Captain
290
0
16
There was a call at one of the local casinos here and a guy got his finger caught in a door and it had some bruising and swelling. He called us for transport, but needless to say, the hospital was clearly visible about one block ahead. Not only could he have walked, taken a cab or used the casino transportation offered to him, he felt it absolutely necessary to take a ride in the ambulance for that entire block with nothing more than ice provided.

Back in high school my friend's mom shut his pinkie in the door... severed the tip. Now its just a stub... I always give him :censored::censored::censored::censored: about it.
 

IrishMedic

Forum Crew Member
38
9
0
ok this was when i was training in the states....we get this call for "sick female". as we arrive on scene we are approached by a well dressed woman in here 30's, no obvious signs of distress, ambulating, unescorted etc. so i introduce myself and my partner and ask her wats goin on today..her response is "I've an iguana inside me". as my crew and i look at each other and we are all trying to come up with logical reasons for what she just said, i was thinkin inguinal hernia etc....i sorta stop and just ask her "when you say iguana, do mean the lizard??" she says yes, so we ask her to take a seat in the rig. so as we get her vitals...ALL normal Surprise!!!! and i palpate the abdomen, which showed no signs of a reptile being present!!!!! we ask her how it got there..." two years previous it had crawled in while she was sleeping....and has been there since"....so i ask her why she called us tonight, was she worried bout her health or the iguana's health etc...she states that its really there...i tell her im not questioning that, that im trying to determine exactly what to do and who im treating, she said she feels underfed cos the iguana takes her food....so i call in the report over the cell phone to the ED. you can imagine how that goes....this is unit.....we have female in 30's c/c iguana in abdomen. pt is AxO 3 and vitals are stable at this time. nkda, nkHx..we are 4 mins out do you require any further....at which point nurse asks "can you state c/c again, at docs request" i state again "pt states she has a lizard living in her stomach"

so we arrive at the ED and are Wheeling in the pt on the cot and as we get into the ED, Every nurse Doc, Security etc are standing in the station waiting to see us...we get directed to a room and as were passing the station the EMT with us..decides to let the pt know theyll run tests, but last time he checked iguana's dont show up on Xrays.....

I don't think there was a member of staff left standing and not crying with laughter in the whole dept....
 

BossyCow

Forum Deputy Chief
2,910
7
0
Toned out to 30 yo woman with belly pain, frequent flier who calls when she needs a meal and a warm bed for the night. "Ma'am, is there any possibility you may be pregnant?" "No" "Are you sexually active?" "Yes" "Are you on birth control?" "No" "Are you sure there is no possibility that you may be pregnant" "Yes I'm sure"
 

yowzer

Forum Lieutenant
210
3
18
Teenager with a pimple on his butt cheek. When his mother (Who followed behind in one of the 5 cars parked out front of their trailer) came in to the ER lobby after finding a parking spot and saw him already sitting in a chair out there.... let's just say she wasn't amused.
 

EMTSteve

Forum Crew Member
63
7
0
Called to a 42 y/o male with a c/c "I think I'm having a heart attack".
We arrive on scene and find him lying UC on the living room floor.
We check vitals.... all WNL.
After establishing an IV, hooking him to the 12 lead and several other things
Um.. okay. We decided to do some "tests".
First the hand drop test(s)... FAILED (missed his face every time)
Tried inserting a OPA... FAILED (clenched his jaw tighter then a dolphins butt)
So we were pretty sure this guy is faking it.
We get to the ED and drop him off and give the story to the RN.
She turns around and walks into the Pts room and loudly says " Okay we are going to need to get his temp.... hand me the rectal thermometer"

The Pt. suddenly awakes, jumps up and yells NOO.

Turns out he was having problems with his soon to be ex-wife and was looking for attention.
 
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MJordan2121

Forum Crew Member
66
4
0
Drugstore

Received a call, 86 y/o F with constipation. Arrived on scene, pt stated she did not want to go to the ER, but instead just needed a ride to the drug store to pick up some stool softeners...
 
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