Tying the knot in 2 days...

[Ridryder911]

They call marriage an institution for a reason..

I believe everyone should be married at least twice...

Seriously, good luck & best wishes to both!

R/r 911

 

[PotatoMedic]

...

I believe everyone should be married at least twice...
...
R/r 911

Does your job count as one of them?

 

[RDUNNE]

so how does tying a know and marriage have anything in common?

In medevil times the priest performing the ceremony would bound the couples hands together with rope, and they were not allow to untie it until they had consumated the marriage. Another origin of the phrase was illiterate sailors and soldiers used to send a piece of rope to their sweethearts back home when they wanted to get married, if the rope came back with a knot in it, she had said yes.

Another interesting phrase is the rule of thumb. English law once declared that a man could not beat his wife with a stick any larger than his thumb.

 

[Medic744]

Be each others best friend. BF go through everything and have their ups and downs but make it work anyway. Also always make time for each other and do the little things that make the other remember why they fell in love with you. When you do disagree just remember to never fight when hungry, tired, or sick.

 

[Pataytay]

Always let her "believe" she is right

 

[usafmedic45]

Another interesting phrase is the rule of thumb. English law once declared that a man could not beat his wife with a stick any larger than his thumb

Eh, not so much. The phrase predates that reference by a couple of hundred years: http://womenshistory.about.com/od/mythsofwomenshistory/a/rule_of_thumb.htm

In medevil times the priest performing the ceremony would bound the couples hands together with rope, and they were not allow to untie it until they had consumated the marriage.

This is emulated even in some present day ceremonies where the hands are wrapped ("tied") in part of the priest's vestments (or something along those lines) as a symbol for binding the couple together during a part of the services. It's actually part of the service we are having tomorrow.

 

[imurphy]

Married 1 year. Best advice I can give you in 3 words.....

Seperate. Bank. Accounts.

Seriously. Then you don't have to get mad when she pretty much cleans out your bank account when she goes to visit her parents and finds a sidewalk sale. I mean seriously, 900 on bags, shoes etc! WTF!!

Em, all that was hypotetical. I swear.

But serious on the bank account thing.

 

[rescue99]

In medevil times the priest performing the ceremony would bound the couples hands together with rope, and they were not allow to untie it until they had consumated the marriage. Another origin of the phrase was illiterate sailors and soldiers used to send a piece of rope to their sweethearts back home when they wanted to get married, if the rope came back with a knot in it, she had said yes.

Another interesting phrase is the rule of thumb. English law once declared that a man could not beat his wife with a stick any larger than his thumb.

LOL. This was good until that last historical fact. Sadly, it is indeed documented fact.

 

[firecoins]

They call marriage an institution for a reason..

I believe everyone should be married at least twice...

Seriously, good luck & best wishes to both!

R/r 911

some religions people get married at least twice without the divorce in the middle.

 

[Dominion]

I always found people who use separate bank accounts weird. More like roommates than married.

 

[TransportJockey]

Good luck man... If things ahd worked out I'd actually be getting married on Sept 12th, but oh well, time to spend money on toys

Seriously, have fun and remember you both have to work at it

 

[Sasha]

I always found people who use separate bank accounts weird. More like roommates than married.

There is more to a marriage than money.

I think seperate bank accounts sounds like a good idea. No experience in the subject but if things go south you have your own money.

 

[Sapphyre]

I always found people who use separate bank accounts weird. More like roommates than married.

There is more to a marriage than money.

I think seperate bank accounts sounds like a good idea. No experience in the subject but if things go south you have your own money.

Having had a joint account at the beginning, and separating it later....

I had always thought that separate accounts seemed more like planning for failure. Makes it harder for one person to handle the bills, for one thing.
Anyway, we separated our accounts as a prelude to the final split, and found out then who was always draining the joint. Anyway, yeah, I will always have a separate account, if I do get married again, even if all it ever has in it is what is left over after all the bills are paid.

 

[Sasha]

Having had a joint account at the beginning, and separating it later....

I had always thought that separate accounts seemed more like planning for failure. Makes it harder for one person to handle the bills, for one thing.
Anyway, we separated our accounts as a prelude to the final split, and found out then who was always draining the joint. Anyway, yeah, I will always have a separate account, if I do get married again, even if all it ever has in it is what is left over after all the bills are paid.

It's not planning for failure, it's being realistic. The divorce rate is around 50% or something (I'd find the statistic if I really cared to, but I don't.), marriages go south. People become crazy and contolling or just become miserable to live with. Some peole are bad with money. With two bank accounts there's no question if you come up short it's YOUR fault not your spouses.

 

[mycrofft]

Ask yourself these questions frequently:

1. If the house burned down tomorrow while we were at work, wouldn't we be ok as long as we still had one another? (No toys, no pictures, no pets).
2. If one of us was to die today and away from the other, or in our sleep tonight, what bit of business from today or last night would cause the survivor pain?
3. If your spouse were watching, would she approve?
4. Right now, what can you do to make her a little happier? (And remember, sometimes that means
"leave her alone").
5. If you were told tomorrow that your wife needed a transplant, you had the compatible organ, but it meant you would have to give up EMS (or skiing, drinking, etc) IMMEDIATELY, which would you do?

Now act on those.

Good luck, I've stumbled onto those bits over the last 34 years with the same woman...and yeah, we got married in a courthouse!

 

[Sapphyre]

It's not planning for failure, it's being realistic. The divorce rate is around 50% or something (I'd find the statistic if I really cared to, but I don't.), marriages go south. People become crazy and contolling or just become miserable to live with. Some peole are bad with money. With two bank accounts there's no question if you come up short it's YOUR fault not your spouses.

Awwww, you missed the point of my post. I'm advocating the separate accounts, having been there, done that on the joint, and it was part of the problem!

 

[Sasha]

Awwww, you missed the point of my post. I'm advocating the separate accounts, having been there, done that on the joint, and it was part of the problem!

Awww, I didn't miss the point. I was responding to the point you made about feeling like you were planning for failure. I was responding to that one point in your post. It was more the fact that other people feel like that and I was voicing my opinion on the subject, nothing to do with you personally.

 

[Dominion]

It's not so much of marraige being a money thing, it's more of a sharing of your lives together now. I see couples who treat their marraiges more like a business arrangement and it just doesn't make sense to me. For example a friend of mine and his wife have their own bank accounts and their own money. If one of them runs out of money and wants to get something to eat, too bad. If he has to borrow 10$ from his wife he is expected to pay that 10$ back when he gets paid. They split all their bills down the middle and have a third bank account bills are withdrawn from automatically so they each move money into that account when their bills are due.

Like said above I feel it's planning for failure, maybe I'm in a fairy tale marraige where we actually get along, both handle the money ok, consult each other before large purchases etc.

The example I can see if ok to separate the bank accounts is if your wife (or husband) continously takes money for frivilous purchases whether you have the spare cash or not. Then I can see that as a way to stop being broke. (Especially if said person is not working or contibuting to atleast 1/3 of the income).

My wife and I have a marraige where we share everything with each other, household duties are split fairly evenly as well as everything else. all of our money goes into one account and take from it whenever we need it, makes things easy. When we do household duties we trade off, for example if she takes out the garbage, next time it's my turn, and we do that for all duties. If she takes out the garbage twice in a row then I have to take it out twice, then we go back to swapping turns.

 

[rescue99]

Marriage isn't about keeping score or keeping separate bank accounts. Having a yours, mine and ours is a great idea if that's what both agree to do. We have 4 accounts. All of them have both our names as well as at least one of the kids names. Whatever works and is equally agreed upon is fine. Chores and money are 2 things not worth fighting over. Just handle em!

IMH old lady opinion, there are 3 things that irreparably harm any relationship. Hiding, sneaking or deceiving. Integrity is a one time gift we have to work at all the time just to maintain. It's sometimes hard to hang on to but even harder to get back once it's lost.

Everything else is about respecting, a lot of back and forth compromise and always making a genuine attempt to understand the needs and desires of one another. Expect some unpleasant moments and imperfect times. Life happens. Also, faith..however that seems to be an individual thing and not for this forum.

 

[imurphy]

On the bank account thing, it really is a matter of reality. My wife is REALLY bad with money, and the last 10 fights we've had about "talk to me about purchases over 100" seem to be forgotten when she sees something she wants.

I'm sure a lot of people can work with a single joint account, but honestly, it really didn;t work out for me!

Oh and Dominion, I envy you! I can't get mine do do ANYTHING around the house! Little spoilt during her upbringing you see!