Spouse/S.O support

[Sd2013]

Hi guys

Just wondering why kind of support you get from your spouse or significant other? Are they ok with your long hours? &The emotional and physical stress your put under. Are they there to talk or do they dislike what you do everyday? Im asking because I was talking with my bf about 6 months ago about becoming an Emt and maybe one day a nurse(been thinking about this as a career longer than 6 mo.) He didn't like the idea he said 1 your a girl 2 you have asthma and 3 I don't think you could handle the stress. I wanted to tell him 1 your a boy 2 your dumb and 3 my asthma isn't that bad I make it seem worse than it is cause I don't want to play soccer with you! But I didn't i just let it go, I mean honestly being a girl and having asthma has never stopped me from anything before - scratch that I couldn't join the army because my asthma lol but besides that I can do anything just as good as anyone else. But when the fall comes and I can take those classes I'm just wondering what to say, cause my family isn't really supportive either. I'm not trying to prove anyone wrong or prove to myself I can do it cause I know I can ... Maybe I shouldn't say anything to them and just do it what do you guys think ? Am I overthinking all this lol

 

[chaz90]

Wow. Don't really have time to comment on everything in that post, but the Sparknotes response is to find the right significant other. If the current one doesn't want to support you, go get a better one. Do consider what he's telling you though. Ignore the "you're a girl" part, but ask him why he doesn't think you can handle the stress. If he has a good answer, evaluate yourself to see if there's truth to that. I'm not even going to begin to delve into the exaggeration of asthma to avoid playing soccer...how old are you? Anyone I date long term would have to understand what I do to some extent and support me in my goals, same as I would for her.

 

[Sd2013]

I'm 23, and I do ask why and the response is always ''I don't want to argue or fight about it just nvm" so to me there is no other reason then he just doesn't want me to do it. Which is the answer to more than just career choices LOL. But your right maybe time to end it

 

[Anjel]

I'm 23. I have been married for almost a year. I've been in EMS for a little over 2 years.

EMS is a big reason why I almost got divorce. Scratch that. EMS and medic school together.
I am never home and am often gone for 24-36 hours at a time. Everything was fine and dandy until I got a male partner. Then the jealousy started. I spend more time with my partner than I do my husband. And he had a really hard time with that. I started having my husband meet some people I work with, let him meet my partner. We had a little come to Jesus talk and things are much better.

Everyone at my company is either not married, divorced, or been married for 30+ years. The majority are divorced though. It definitely can put a strain on a relationship. The awesome call I had last night is not so cool to people outside of EMS.

If you were to go through with school, you need the support of your loved ones. You can't battle the stress of the job and then battle the stress of people wanting you to quit. If I were you I would sit down with the BF, and hash out all concerns. And find out if he is gonna stick by your side or if it will be too much for him to handle. Tell him you're not gonna argue, but you are going to talk. That will be step 1.

 

[Sd2013]

He won't come around my coworkers now and I've been at this job as long as I've been with him. The more I think about it the more I'm realizing I have an unhealthy relationship. I need to worry about my career. Thanks for the advice

 

[Handsome Robb]

You picked yourself a winner.

Fwiw my last serious girlfriend left during medic school when I was pulling 6-7 12s a week between school and working as an EMT-I. Haven't had another serious relationship since. She couldn't handle the fact that she wasn't the focus of my undivided attention anymore. Many if my coworkers are married or in long term relationships and they all seem happy for the most part. Obviously there are going to be rough patches. Communication is huge. Good luck!

 

[Carlos Danger]

I was talking with my bf about 6 months ago about becoming an Emt and maybe one day a nurse(been thinking about this as a career longer than 6 mo.) He didn't like the idea he said 1 your a girl 2 you have asthma and 3 I don't think you could handle the stress.

Find a new boyfriend.

In EMT and later nursing school, you'll find plenty of guys who will support you rather than demean you.

 

[Porta]

I've been in EMS for 10 years and married for 5. EMS was here before my husband, and it's here to stay until I've had enough. I've never asked my husband to do anything with his career because I'd miss him, or worry, or didn't like his coworkers, and he's done the same for mine.
I have RA/MS and I bust my butt in the gym 6 days a week and run 29 miles a week, so his excuse that your asthma makes you less qualified for EMS is utter bulls!t. Tell him to pull up his big boy pants. If you want to do this, do it. Don't let anyone tell you that you can't do something because you're a girl, or have asthma.

 

[DigDugDude]

yah sounds like you need a more supportive mate

thats my advice your going to need someone who supports you. Youll definitely find that in the medical field if thats what you want to get into. My spouce is actually in the exact same field as me, working in a different hospital though. We both work crazy hours sometimes opposites. We both understand what each other is going though and try to make time when we can and if we dont see each other aside from seeing the other sleeping when we come in the door you dont take it personally and take advantage of the 2-3 days a month your both actually off.

Not complaining thats just part of the deal if your looking to get into medical youll be tired and sleep deprived, work most weekends, work opposite schedules as most of the people you know.

realize that and explain that to other potential people you want to date in the future and things will be much easier.

Also look for someone who can and will support you while in school and working its a very much needed respite.