Tincanfireman
Airfield Operations
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Thought you guys might like this one from an anonymous second grade teacher...
I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two
kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own
second-grade classroom a few years back.
When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a
few sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness and usually,
show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes,
pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place any
boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it in to school and
talk about it, they're welcome.
Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very
outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the
class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater.
She holds up a snapshot of an infant. "This is Luke, my baby
brother, and I'm going to tell you about his birthday."
"First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and
then Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for
nine months through an umbrella cord."
She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm
trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me.
The kids are watching her in amazement.
"Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and
going, 'Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh!' Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. "She
walked around the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!' Now this kid is
doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.
"My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she
doesn't have a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my Mom to
lie down in bed like this." Then Erica lies down with her back against the
wall.
"And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he
got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like
psshhheew!" This kid has her legs spread with her little hands miming water
flowing away. It was too much!
"Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,' and 'breathe, breathe.
They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden,
out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff that they all said it
was from Mom's play-center, so there must be a lot of toys inside there."
Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to
her seat. I'm sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then,
when it's show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another
"Middle Wife" comes along.
I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two
kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own
second-grade classroom a few years back.
When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a
few sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness and usually,
show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes,
pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place any
boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it in to school and
talk about it, they're welcome.
Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very
outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the
class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater.
She holds up a snapshot of an infant. "This is Luke, my baby
brother, and I'm going to tell you about his birthday."
"First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and
then Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for
nine months through an umbrella cord."
She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm
trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me.
The kids are watching her in amazement.
"Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and
going, 'Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh!' Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. "She
walked around the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!' Now this kid is
doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.
"My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she
doesn't have a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my Mom to
lie down in bed like this." Then Erica lies down with her back against the
wall.
"And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he
got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like
psshhheew!" This kid has her legs spread with her little hands miming water
flowing away. It was too much!
"Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,' and 'breathe, breathe.
They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden,
out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff that they all said it
was from Mom's play-center, so there must be a lot of toys inside there."
Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to
her seat. I'm sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then,
when it's show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another
"Middle Wife" comes along.
