Paramedic is now the patient

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Old Road Dog and Sidekick

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greetings to you all. we haven't been here in a good while. i keep getting invites on our email to come back, so thought i'd pop in and share, if yall don't mind.

Old Road Dog is my husband. He was a full time farmer for 20 years before he got into EMS/Fire. He really enjoyed the science behind the interventions and i think thats what at first motivated him. this was of course long before he and i met at work, fell in love and got married.
He was a full time medic for 25 years at the same company. he was also a firefighter, haz mat expert, SRT, DMAT, special IV team, and MICU.
he was and still is my hero.

In January 2010, the night before he was scheduled for a 24 hr shift, he collapsed with ESRF. hence our journey began with all the drama and trauma of frequent hospitalizations, surgery, crisis and the like.. but now we were both on the other side of the cot.

My husbands condition is due to a genetic syndrome called "Alports". we live out in the boonies on a homestead admidst an Old Order Amish community. we live a healthy life. He must have been very sick for a long time and i have no idea how he continued to work 24 shifts and be such a good medic and partner, when he was sicker than most of his patients.
i literally drug him to the doc for bloodwork because as the saying sometimes goes in the ER.."people are usually alot sicker than they look".
i knew he was ill but not the scope of it.

It has been truly a nightmare i can safely say. he has been on permenent medical leave since january. he is now on dialysis at home, called peritoneal dialysis, every 3-4 hours around the clock. i am his full time caregiver. he has had one system failure after another since this began. his only hope to be off of dialysis is a kidney transplant. getting on a "list" is a long process of elimination, tests, procedures, etc. Once he gets cleared for the list, the wait begins. it can be anywhere from 2-7 years, and he must stay healthy during that time.

i think the worst part of this for him has been the loss of his livelihood, and the loss of his friends at work. on the job he was nicknamed "the godfather".
he helped so very many (including me) become efficient and confident in their skills, and keep that level of humanity that is so vital.
since his own illness, only 3 of his co-workers have kept in touch, and only for a short time. we are now down to 1 of them.

when you go about caring for your patients, remember, this could be YOU.
that golden rule thing is not a suggestion.

i have only had my husband transported once by ambulance. it was midnight, we were far away, i did not have anything to treat him other than a kind word, so i opted to stop at the nearest EMS station to our home.
the medic who took him in had worked with him for many years, and we'd taken BTLS with him. It must have been difficult for them both, with the Old Road Dog Paramedic now being the patient at a level 10 pain, needing 02 and a cardiac monitor.

As it turns out, my hubbys cousin is a transplant survivor in WV. we plan to visit with him for some renewed hope and energy towards that direction.

once my husband wore a uniform with honorable pins, one being storks for the babies he helped deliver. he carried equipment and life saving interventions and a humble attitude to serve his patients, listen to his partners troubles, and help anyone who asked it. he appeared often in the paper, photographed while on scene. if there was ever a person who can tell you "all about it", he is it.

today he feels chained to an IV pole and a dialysate solution that is saving his life while he runs the gauntlet of the medical system, as a patient this time. he is often ill, dizzy, weak, cannot drive, and is unable to do most of what he used to enjoy. it is heartbreaking at times for me, but i insist we press on because i do not want to give up my best friend.

we'd like to know if there is anyone here from WV, as we may relocate there due to wait time for transplant is sooner. he asked me the other day, "i'm never going back to work, am i?"
my reply was "we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us, and yes, even that".

if you have nothing better to do, we have a blog site and a caring bridge site.

www.cabininthewoods.blog.com
www.caringbridge.org/visit/jonscotfox

today as you are going about your patients care, and their families, just do for them what you'd like to be done for you. because someday you too, could be on the other side of the cot..
 
Thank you for sharing this. Being that EMS tends to be a younger demographic of people, many of us do not realize that some day we will be on "the other side of the cot" as you put it.

I will put your husband in my prayers. I know this is not an easy thing for either of you to experience. Please make sure that in the process of being a loving and devoted caregiver, that you do no neglect yourself and your own well being in this process.

Your post has been very eye opening, and I hope that everyone here gets a chance to read it.

The most valuable piece of advice from your post:
"that golden rule thing is not a suggestion"

Good luck and please stay in touch.

Best wishes to the both of you.
 
thank you both of you.

prior to all this my hubby cut down trees, split a cord of wood easily in a morning, did any and all manners of machine repairs, trained horses, and always carried the heavy end of the cot, including the monitor.
just 2 weeks ago he turned 57. i am 10 years junior. we are by no means on our walkers yet.
my first partner ever was a man i lovingly referred to as Grandpa. he was 63 and was 18 months post triple bypass. the man was a work horse. he at that time had been in EMS/Fire for 29 years. lord he was so good to work with, and such a delight with his patients. he used to joke he pre-dated CPR.

my husband had many partners who were older than he is now. all work mules and absolutely the best medics/emt's in every sense of the word.

i reckon we figured the day would come, but not quite this early.
i have faith that the day will come when his transplant is complete and he can go back to whatever he wants.

i'll tell you a real hero, is my sister. her 8 yr old was dx 2 yrs ago with x.ald, he wasn't expected to make it. her older son, a marine, donated bone marrow. its been almost 2 years, though this little one was expected to pass within months, he is now thriving and improving daily. all because of the care my sister has given him. she trains the cops, fire and ems folks when they come for a call. and they are happy to learn.

i remember going on calls to pick up chronic patients, and wondering which one was the patient? the family caregiver looked worse! so yes, that is very true.
we can't think of our diseases as they own us. we must own them and do whatever we can to defeat them.

lastly, we used to occasionally transport an older gentleman who was the last of 2 survivors on the Arizona (Pearl Harbor). he gave me his autograph (i have it framed) and we wrote several letters and cards to him. what a delight he was! what a joy it always brought to us to bring a smile or hug or hold a hand, even if it was for the family member as their loved one passed.
medicine is more than equipment. sometimes it is so much about the respect, kindness, gentle touch and laughter you give your patient.

my most common intro to a stable patient was: "Hi, I'm Kelly and i'll be your server today"..or.."Hello sweetheart, this is your medic and i am his lovely assistant"..

never under any circumstances refer to your patients as "dollbaby" "punkin" "honeybabe" or sweetheart"..;):rolleyes:
 
I just remembered.

My longtime buddies father, in his fifties, got his EMT, vollied, and then worked IFT.

He was a retired auto mechanic.

He had cancer, I forgot what type. When he was well enough, between bouts of chemo, his employer would let him work, he mostly transported dialysis patients and was happy to do it.

On 911, his company sent him to the World Trade Towers, and his bus was crushed by the rubble, he had let as many people as ran in inside for shelter. He joked to us when everyone got out it was like a clown car.

He passed in Spring 2002.

Interestingly, I never knew he was dying.

I was at the house dropping something off, family not home, there was some other guy there, who asked me how he was doing...I had no idea about it.

Towards the end, another guy told me the end was near, and that he would notify me when he passed.

He was sort of always the guy who helped everyone else, so his illness was almost a secret.

Anyway, once again, I hope your partner gets a transplant rapidly.

I pray for the day the default option is for people to be donors and they develop a synthetic or other species kidney transplant.
 
hugs to you..it is those memories that improve us at people, and make the medicine we do matter all the more.

stem cell research in the US has finally gotten okay for human trials in Calif, later this year. now that would really be something!

i know i joke alot when i post here, so i should add that my husband and i were in a perpetual state of always learning our craft from the science and business end as well. the first real serious call we ever went on together was a gun shot/possible homicide/suicide. another one that shook us both up was an 18 yr old full arrest from ruptured ectopic. she didn't make it.
we had so many calls together, and learned to work well as a team, not just in skill, but in the opportunity to serve and care for another in need. see, he had been at this a very long time before i ever did my first BP. i had some "seat time" then but i was still a happy pup dog with my tongue hanging out the window on every call.

i think he would be a great teacher. he just misses the rig.

(the pic is us right after we first met, at work, reminding us not to take ourselves too seriously..)
 

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My favorite instructor for my emt-b class was this 60 + guy.

He was an armed forces broadcaster so he had an excellent voice. He really knew his material.

Most people disliked him, he was impatient, he yelled, screamed and grabbed people and shook them out of frustration.

(I realize not all people 60+ are like that, and your partner is not)

However, I welcomed it. Everything he ever belittled me on or yelled at me stuck in my head.

I would rather be embarassed in training for a mistake than in the field with a real patient. I am 44 and somewhat thick. I need to be yelled at sometimes, preferably by someone old enough at least to be an older brother.

I ran into this woman, another instructor, as Best Buy once, she swore me to secrecy, he was that way because his kids dies in a car crash, in part because of an inept emt. His wife had passed of cancer.

One guy at my vollie was also an instructor there, he told me once this guy was suspended for three weeks because he yelled at someone.
 
your photo

I saw that one and all the others on your website.

I wish you both get through this and have many future photo-ops one day.

But seriously, look into the instructor route. I am certain his wisdom and experience would be valued.
 
LOL..my hunk of a hubby is nowhere near "old'..hehehe..he just hit 57 2 weeks ago, the best man at our wedding was a fire chief who works Ft and i think he will be 60 this year and he is gorgeous. these guys run circles round the young dogs.

seriously though, even before my hubby, was my hubby, and was my senior, he never once yelled at me. or anyone else. he always gave praise and credit. if he had a gripe, he'd wait till he was in the rig and vent to me in private.
thats horrid about your instructor, my god. people deal with grief in many ways. maybe he thought he could work through it better by making better EMT's? bless his heart, he was trying.
i had a captain in fire service like that, i loved him. the leadership was great.
kind of like my Grandparents..when they said JUMP, i said HOW HIGH?
 
i do too! (instructor). this is even something he can study while he is on the waiting list. alot of it can be done at home/online. you got something there!
if a person gets a transplant and it goes well, medicare drops you after 3 years. we still have private insurance (and pay all premiums for both) but the cost of CKD care is mind boggling..
if any of you have LTD insurance at work, i would encourage you to keep with it, it truly saved us. and our pmt for that was only under 7$ a payday.
 
I wish you both the best of luck and will send some prayers up for you.

This issue is a difficult situation for us to think of ourselves being in but one we very easily could face.

Good luck and it's nice to have you back!
 
I see your from my neck of the woods,you can recognize those big blue and white rigs anywhere if your from southern Michigan LOL
 
Old Road Dog and Sidekick said:
LOL..my hunk of a hubby is nowhere near "old'..hehehe..he just hit 57 2 weeks ago, the best man at our wedding was a fire chief who works Ft and i think he will be 60 this year and he is gorgeous. these guys run circles round the young dogs.

seriously though, even before my hubby, was my hubby, and was my senior, he never once yelled at me. or anyone else. he always gave praise and credit. if he had a gripe, he'd wait till he was in the rig and vent to me in private.
thats horrid about your instructor, my god. people deal with grief in many ways. maybe he thought he could work through it better by making better EMT's? bless his heart, he was trying.
i had a captain in fire service like that, i loved him. the leadership was great.
kind of like my Grandparents..when they said JUMP, i said HOW HIGH?
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I do not know him, I do not think 70 is old these days, he seems like a non-yelling type of guy.

Its just me, I sort of came of age in the unfocused 70s where everything was do what you want....

If I could do it again, I would have joined the military...
 
I just realized when I looked at the pic ya'll posted on here that I know exactly who you work for. Im from right up the road in stockbridge originally.. did my Medic at HVA in Ann arbor.. small world..!
 
EMS and Immunity

Thank you so much for sharing and coming here for support!

When you're a young medic you're burdened with the double whammy of, due to your age, not quite getting the concept that you'll die and, as a Medic, internalizing that death is something that can be defeated because, after all, sometimes YOU defeat it!

All around us, people die. As we get older, more and more people we know "pass away". As we get older still, the room that we live in with our peers gets less and less crowded until, sooner than we ever imagined, we're alone, and then, we too are gone.

Such is the flow of life. Thinking about it this minute, that's what we call it, "the flow of life". That implies a cycle; for the river flows, evaporates, is reformed into clouds, turned into rain and, hits the mountaintops, flows back down in the river. It can't happen any other way.

It's never too early to count your blessings and relish your joy at all that you've been able to experience together. In fact, if you're not doing it this very moment -- that means Me, You and Everyone -- then I think you're missing the whole reason that we showed up in the first place!

You and your mate have had the phenomenal and rare opportunity to bind your lives with each other in service to the needs of others in your community. You have embodied a spirit of exploration, built yourselves up as sterling examples for others, and every one of your posts smacks of a deep, underlying faith in your Creator and an undying commitment to your fellow humans through love of Him.

There's nothing I can share with you about death that you haven't already faced individually. It's not only the nature of your business, but, I'd guess, the nature of your natures. Keep doing that; but now, with each other, and at one or more levels deeper. Don't shy away from preparing for death; not only his, but yours.

I'm not saying don't fight Death. I'm saying first shake hands, give Him a hug and then come out slugging. But since that's the End Game anyway, by you and your Love letting your intimacy include sharing the exploration of death together, you'll be surprised to find the incredible healing there that, literally, will carry you into another world together.

You said something, "it is heartbreaking at times for me, but i insist we press on because i do not want to give up my best friend."

Your best friend will pass. So will you. And you know full well that you can walk out your door, cross the street and...

No matter how you cut it, your Time together is limited. I know you know that, but including the inevitability of death in it can actually make it richer.

My love to you and yours.
 
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