PapaBear434
Forum Asst. Chief
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As the title implies, this was my first shift as a newly minted EMT here in Virginia two nights ago. I have trolled this site for a few months now, loved this section, thought it was time I shared one. Since it was my first shift, I figure it's a good omen to an interesting career.
Got a call to a mentally unstable man on a major highway in my town. Four lanes with a left turn lane running down the middle. Police are already there, which is good, because I would have never guessed that the call would be in the MIDDLE of the road.
This man, you see, had gone to the middle of the left turn lane, taken off his clothes and placed them on the yellow line after neatly folding them. So, there he was, calmly strolling nude down the center lane while the police talked to him.
I was obviously playing the secondary role, because I have no idea what to say in this situation or how to approach it. So luckily the guy I was riding with took the reins. I warn you, though, the conversation was very memorable and I am going to do my best to splay all of it. It may be a tad llong.
Jack: "So, um, what's up?"
Patient: "Not much, how about you?"
Jack: "Oh, not much either. Just watching late night TV when I got a call that there was someone in trouble."
Patient: "Oh, wow. Is everyone ok?"
Jack: "Well, we don't know yet. The call was for YOU."
Patient: "Really? Well, I'm fine now. The bugs can't find me."
Jack: "Bugs?"
Patient: "Yeah, crawling all over me. They can't find me here."
Jack: "Of course, that makes sense. But why take off your clothes."
Patient: "Because they'd smell them. This way, they go after the clothes, and leave me alone. And they can't cross the yellow. It's poison."
Jack: "Well, I can see that. But some people don't like naked folks walking down the middle of the road, you know?"
Patient: "I suppose that would be weird, for people that don't know about the bugs."
Jack: "You can get in the ambulance if you want. It's all metal, no bugs can get in. And we clean it constantly."
Patient: "Hey, man, you're all right. Thanks!"
Jack: "But while you're in there, we have to do some stuff. Check your pulse and stuff. The bosses need paperwork on everyone that gets into the truck, and they are real sticklers."
Patient: "Yeah, I have an *** for a boss too. I know how it is. Go right ahead."
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I think it was determined he was on some recreational substances, but I haven't been back to the station since the incident. I will have to find out then...
Got a call to a mentally unstable man on a major highway in my town. Four lanes with a left turn lane running down the middle. Police are already there, which is good, because I would have never guessed that the call would be in the MIDDLE of the road.
This man, you see, had gone to the middle of the left turn lane, taken off his clothes and placed them on the yellow line after neatly folding them. So, there he was, calmly strolling nude down the center lane while the police talked to him.
I was obviously playing the secondary role, because I have no idea what to say in this situation or how to approach it. So luckily the guy I was riding with took the reins. I warn you, though, the conversation was very memorable and I am going to do my best to splay all of it. It may be a tad llong.
Jack: "So, um, what's up?"
Patient: "Not much, how about you?"
Jack: "Oh, not much either. Just watching late night TV when I got a call that there was someone in trouble."
Patient: "Oh, wow. Is everyone ok?"
Jack: "Well, we don't know yet. The call was for YOU."
Patient: "Really? Well, I'm fine now. The bugs can't find me."
Jack: "Bugs?"
Patient: "Yeah, crawling all over me. They can't find me here."
Jack: "Of course, that makes sense. But why take off your clothes."
Patient: "Because they'd smell them. This way, they go after the clothes, and leave me alone. And they can't cross the yellow. It's poison."
Jack: "Well, I can see that. But some people don't like naked folks walking down the middle of the road, you know?"
Patient: "I suppose that would be weird, for people that don't know about the bugs."
Jack: "You can get in the ambulance if you want. It's all metal, no bugs can get in. And we clean it constantly."
Patient: "Hey, man, you're all right. Thanks!"
Jack: "But while you're in there, we have to do some stuff. Check your pulse and stuff. The bosses need paperwork on everyone that gets into the truck, and they are real sticklers."
Patient: "Yeah, I have an *** for a boss too. I know how it is. Go right ahead."
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I think it was determined he was on some recreational substances, but I haven't been back to the station since the incident. I will have to find out then...
