Kids say the damndest things

[Celtictigeress]

Okay guys this caused me to spit out my coke...

My neice repeats what me and the sis say..usually gets me in trouble with my brother in law but anywho heres the jest....

Shes four Just turned cute as a button big precious moments blue eyes.. blonde hair and a smile that makes your heart melt (I love my neices and nephews)

"Aunt Kaaaaaaaaaaaaat Mama I gots a joke"

both of us were like okay what is it

"whats you get when you cross a rooster and a lollipop?"

We expected something that made absolutely no sense nada.. you know...kids ramble and think its funny..

"A c**ksucker"

*cough sputter choke* I took a double take on that one.

 

[Wingnut]

Soooo Wrong, but funny. My son is getting in trouble at school for his language and "jokes". I knew this was going to happen. I keep everthing as kid friendly as I can but when Jason's shift comes over for dinner or drinks, there's nothing kid friendly about it. I've heard things come out of that boys mouth that would make a sailor blush.

 

[coloradoemt]

My daughter at a younger age asked a rather large lady how she got so fat, as loud as she could, at the super market.

 

[emtff376]

I was at wal-mart one night headed back toward the pharmacy and was walking down the condom aisle when there happened to be a little girl no more than 4, sniffing a bottle of Body Glide. She then proudly turns to her mom and says "THIS SMELLS LIKE THE STUFF WE HAVE AT HOME!" loud enough for everyone in the store to hear practically. I couldn't stop laughing.

 

[Phridae]

Ahhh, this reminds me of something that happened today.

My nephew (who'll be six in May) was playing in a box and his dad kept pushing the box over and moving him around. He jumps out of the box and says "You mother!" I thought there was going to be another word after that. I told him I didnt like him say it. His dad informed me that he calls his wife "mother" but not in the mommy sense. My nephew doest not understand calling someone 'a mother' in that sense isnt right.

When he was younger, we all had a bet saying his first word was going to be a bad one, but it wasnt. People forget that children pick up things quickly and remember them, then repeat them at the most inopportuen times.

 

[ffemt8978]

Reminds me of the time my whole family (parents, brother, and grandparents) went to a nice restaurant to celebrate Mother's Day and my birthday, which are pretty close together. The restaurant had those sugar packets with pictures of birds on them, so my grandmother picks one up to show me and says, "Look at the pheasant."

I responded that it was a chicken, and she insisted that it was a pheasant. After a minute or so of trying to prove she was wrong, I finally had enough.

In a crowded restaurant, I got up and yelled at the top of my voice, "IT'S A CHICKEN, YOU DUMBS**T!" The whole restaurant looks at us, and my whole family except me turns beet red.

BTW, I was three years old at the time.

BTW, it was a picture of a pheasant. :blush:

(If you can't win by reason, go for volume)

 

[Lisa]

My 3 yr old son right after I gave birth to my daughter....."Mommy, did she hurt comin out of your butt?" In front of my whole family and nurses. I tried to prepare him for having a lil sister by letting him watch A Baby Story on TLC. Guess I should have just read him the book.

 

[MedicPrincess]

LMAO af FFEMT!!!

My son, who was 4 at the time...

We where driving through some hellllacious traffice and it really was making me a tad bit frustrated.

My cell phone rings. Of course I cant find it, traffic is awful and the next thing I here...

"Mommy cannot talk right now, this G** D**n Traffic is F***ing Pissing here off. But I can talk Grandpa." Just about wrecked my car.

Next phone call I had was when I got home from my father, wonder where his 4 year old grandson learned about the traffic problems.

 

[Walter McCracken]

That's what's so funny about kids; most of them don't realise what they are actually saying. Unfortunately, some do!!!!:sad:

 

[Funnyrunner1]

Such things made Art Linkletter famous....

 

[JJR512]

That's what's so funny about kids; most of them don't realise what they are actually saying. Unfortunately, some do!!!!:sad:

Reminds me of a story I saw in the newspaper several years ago...

A father had taught his son (about four years old, if I recall right) to say "F:censored:k you", and whenever he (the father) had has drinking buddies over, they'd get him to say it again and again and they'd all laugh. Well, one day the kid did something that really pissed off the dad, and the kid thought it would really cheer him up if he said...well, you know. The father becamse so infuriated that, in a violent rage, he killed his own son. So be careful what you teach your kids or what you allow them to say, no matter how funny it seems when you're in a joking-around mood!