I thought FUBAR was "****ed Up Beyond All Repair" (which is equally appropriate).
Here are some good definitions from JEMS:
Words That Should Be in the EMS Dictionary But Aren't
JACOBS syndrome (Just A Couple Of BeerS): acronym. A syndrome in which the patient, despite apparent intoxication, will admit to only two beers.
LOL: acronym. Lonely old lady. Used to describe an elderly female patient who just wants to chat en route to the hospital, and the first thing she says upon arrival in the ED is, “What's for lunch today?"
Spoozing: adj. Used to describe a condition in which you have a combination arterial (spurting) and venous (oozing) bleed.
Smashing pumpkins: n. Originally used to describe rock climbers who take a grounder fall to their head without a helmet, but more recently applied to any participant of an extreme sport who accomplishes the same type of impact. (Term taken from the name of a popular American rock group).
Atrial flubberation: n. Supraventricular rhythm that fluctuates between atrial fibrillation and flutter. In the past, this rhythm was referred to as "fib/flutter."
Manikin-American: n. The politically correct term to refer to a dummy used for CPR practice.
Drama alert: n. Any minor complaint that is exacerbated by numerous family members/friends believing it to be life-threatening (aka the infamous stubbed toe call). Usually results in having a hysterical patient on your hands.
Organ donor: n. A motorcyclist who rides without wearing a helmet.
Donor-cycle: n. Any combination of motorcycle and rider in which the motorcycle has an engine larger and/or more powerful than the rider's brain.
Insuranceitis: n. A condition that develops following an MVC in which there is no damage to the involved vehicles, but at least two people complain of neck pain. Clear the call as insuranceitis, BS performed.
Slot Shock: n. A cardiac condition that results from spending too many hours sitting and playing the slot machine without food and too much to drink. The resulting syncope from acute hypoperfusion occurs immediately after the victim stands up to go to the restroom.
Air bag: n. A child riding in a car’s front seat on someone’s lap.
Code 3 hypnosis: n. A distortion of all reality in which an emergency vehicle approaches an unsuspecting driver, causing a lack in common judgment and producing a failure to move to the right to allow said emergency vehicle to pass, creating a subsequent barrier for the EMS personnel to proceed around on their run.
O.D.—Oblivious Driver: n. The driver in front of you who doesn't, or pretends not to, see or hear the big box with flashing lights and yelping siren approaching from behind them.
I.D.—Ignorant Driver: n. The driver who stops their car right in front of the ambulance bay driveway as soon as they see or hear the big box with flashing lights and siren.
STEM: n. A coworker who obviously possesses only the rudimentary brain functions necessary to sustain life. They are state-certified and nationally registered but you can never figure out how they make it to work and keep from getting killed in 24 hours. Usage: That guy's a real STEM! Synonym: Air Thief.
Drunkicidal: adj. Used to describe a patient whose desire to kill himself goes away as the EtOH level falls.
Incarceritis: n. Any complaint that mysteriously presents when the patient discovers they're about to be in custody.
Miranda angina: n. Chest pain (or other complaint) generally precipitated by the likelihood of patient's imminent placement into custody. Also associated with acute allergy to handcuffs. Give care per your local protocols as for other kinds of chest pain. Anticipate post-discharge follow-up care in a long-term facility.
Tachylordy: n. A serious patient condition categorized by rapid (greater than 100 lordys/min) and repeated calls for intervention by a higher power. Can result in headache and shortness of breath. "Ohhhhh lordy, lordy, lordy, lordy, lordy, lordy." [Related: Bradylordy: n. A serious condition categorized by exceedingly slow (less than 40 lordys/min) and often loud calls for intervention by a higher power. "OHHHHHH looorrrrdddyy, looooorrrrrrddddyyyyy!!!!!!"]
Mister Gadget: n. The EMT/paramedic/firefighter who just happens to own every piece of EMT/fire-related gadgetry available from Gall's catalogue. Mister Gadget can be beneficial in a multi-jurisdictional/multi-problematic event because he does possess all the equipment that would be necessary to run the Incident Command from his POV.
LOLFDGB (Little Old Lady-Fall Down Go Boom): n. Typical EMS call to a nursing home.
Smurf: n. A patient exhibiting obvious cyanosis.
Dyspatcher: The voice on the radio responsible for crossed trucks, inaccurate information and addresses, etc. (It’s all in fun.)
DWPA (Died with Paramedic Assistance): n. Used to describe those patients who, in spite of our best efforts, gallons of drugs and lots of joules, go ahead and die anyway. Haven't they heard of the miracles of modern EMS?
MAGGOT: n. An acronym meaning "Medically Able to Go Get Other Transportation."
CPR (Chest Play Recreation): n. An activity that combines mouth-to-mouth "recreation" and chest massage.
Nebulous-izer: n. A patient who recites their life history and won't come to the point when we just ask a simple yes/no question.
Circling the Drain: v. Used when one is on the way out, but just hasn’t gone down yet. Can be used interchangeably with “ agonal,” “ PEA” and other words describing “ near the end” scenarios.
GDRS adj. Gonna Die Real Soon. Usually used for patients with a sudden illness or injury that will take them to their maker, despite any actions of EMS or hospital professionals.
ECU n. Eternal Care Unit. Where a patient goes after they die.
T.I.S. (transient illness syndrome) n. This occurs when your frequent flier patient’s illness changes several times en route to the ED. Tends to occur around the first of the month and full moons.
Ambuslap (am-bew-slap) n. The annoying habit of police officers, firefighters or other personnel who, after you’ve loaded the patient and cot in the rig, will helpfully close the rear door of the ambulance and slap it twice to let whoever is driving know that it’s OK to pull out. (Of course, the driver of the rig is either listening to dispatch or what’s going on in the back and rarely, if ever, can hear/feel the two slaps.)
Yabberious Radious (yab-air-e-us ray-de-us) n. The “Greek” EMS term for the person that simply cannot live without being heard via field communications devices (i.e., portable radios, mobile radios or a two-way phone direct connect. Usually, this person carries all of these at once).
Obsculate (OB-skyoo-layt) v. To obtain a blood pressure by simply observing the patient ("um … 126/80); method used by prehospital personnel who have forgotten why they are doing what they do.
bluid (BLOO-id) n. a combination of blood and fluid (as in CSF) observed in the ears in head injuries.
ambudextrous (am-bu-DEX-trus) adj. having the rare ability to operate a bag-valve mask while using only one hand (not to be confused with ambidextrose, a syrupy medication that can be injected using either hand).
Low-carb: adj. Describes a patient who has a blood sugar of 60 mg/dL or less.
HONDA: acronym. Hypertensive, Obese, Non-compliant, Diabetic Adult.
