Whoa whoa whoa there tiger.I could go on and on... The sexy stuff isn't really bringing much to the table, aside from feeding paramedic ego and making for increased difficulty in maintaining competency in the low frequency procedures.
Let's look closely at what we do and realize that the sizzle really doesn't matter. It SHOULD be mostly a series of simple interventions, performed in a timely manner, followed by a safe, comfortable ride to definitive care.
MY ego is the only thing that matters in this job. Because I'm a life saving heart-breaking hero! I mean a super badass clinician! I mean the future of EMS! I'm so good I run rings around doctors and my top notch department gives me everything I need to save lives. In fact I'm so good I can make a difference just by thinking about it. How do I know this? Why let me just tell you.
I'm so good I can do whatever I want whenever I want; if I see some procedure done on youtube and I think it's appropriate...well I just go out and start doing it! Pfffft...data you say? Proof of effectiveness you say? Correlation to clinical outcomes? Ain't nobody got time for that!
My drug box is so big it takes 3 people to carry it. It's got more drugs than most ER's. My ambulance has a ultrasound, a portable x-ray and hauls a trailer with a CT scanner. When a new gadget hits the market we have it on the trucks before anyone else. We've got every automated device ever made for EMS and believe me, I use them all. Training you say? Appropriateness of medical interventions you ask? Pffft...I'm just so good I don't need to worry about that, just like my whole department. And you know we're that good because we do all these high-speed low-drag things that nobody else does.
Get with the program people; we need to show the world our worth! We've got to prove how good paramedics are! And how do you prove that? Why, you push as many drugs as possible and perform every procedure under the sun! Duh! It ain't rocket science kids!
In fact, I think I'm the Chuck Norris of EMS.

