JJR512
Forum Deputy Chief
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The following article was in a newsletter from an area nursing home. Not sure if it's real or not, but I found it extremely amusing and you will, too:
"Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year."
"On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared."
"Discharge status: Alive but without my permission."
"Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful."
"The patient refused autopsy."
"The patient has no previous history of suicides."
"Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital."
"Patient's medical history has been remarkably with only a 40-pound weight gain in the past three days."
"She is numb from her toes down."
"While in ER, she was examined, X-rated, and sent home."
"The skin was moist and dry."
Occasional, constant infrequent headaches."
"Patient was alert and unresponsive."
"Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid."
"She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce."
"Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year."
"On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared."
"Discharge status: Alive but without my permission."
"Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful."
"The patient refused autopsy."
"The patient has no previous history of suicides."
"Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital."
"Patient's medical history has been remarkably with only a 40-pound weight gain in the past three days."
"She is numb from her toes down."
"While in ER, she was examined, X-rated, and sent home."
"The skin was moist and dry."
Occasional, constant infrequent headaches."
"Patient was alert and unresponsive."
"Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid."
"She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce."