Your patient asks you to pray with them

[Epi-do]

Sasha's post got me thinking, especially regarding those of you who stated you are athiests, do you pray with your patient if s/he asks you to do so? What about if you are religious, but your patient appears to have vastly different beliefs than yourself? If not, what do you say to them? If they go ahead and pray without you, do respect their wish to do so, and give them a moment of silence?

I searched for a previous thread, and couldn't find one. I can't believe it hasn't been discussed before.

Let me start by saying that while I do believe there is some sort of higher power, I struggle with the teachings of mainstream Christianity. I believe that the Bible is full of stories that teach wonderful lessons, but don't necessarily believe that the Bible is a true/accurate telling of history. I am not sure if that makes me an agnostic, or something else (although I am not sure what "title" it would be).

However, I do believe that positive thoughts and belief in something does help the healing process. Because of that, if a patient asks to pray, I will hold their hand and give them a moment of silence if it is possible to do so. When this has happened to me, I rarely have had a patient so sick/injured that I couldn't stop care for just a brief moment to fulfill a patient's request. I look at it as one more thing I can do to help my patient. If it helps to put them at ease, and make it easier for me to do the rest of my job, giving them a moment to say a brief prayer is easy enough to do.

 

[Sasha]

It's not about me and my beliefs, it's about the patient and their comfort. As stated earlier, I am an atheist and have been for a long time, but if prayer will put a patient or their family at ease, I will happily join them. Be it God, Satan, Allah or The Mighty Dust Bunny, it is not my place to judge, nor a place to assert my atheism.

 

[PapaBear434]

I guess I'd do my job. Depending on the call, I may have more important things to do than ask some mystic being that may or may not be imaginary to help. God isn't going to stop that femoral bleed. I am.

But if it they are stable and I'm just transporting, I may just bow my head and be respectful. Just because I think it's BS doesn't mean that it won't help them feel better. A calm patient is a good patient, in my experience. I won't join in, necessarily, and explain to them that I have no specific faith, but they are more than welcome to pray.

I do the same at my daughter's private Lutheran school when they want me to pray. Would work about the same way, I think.

 

[subliminal1284]

I agree with Sasha.

 

[Maya]

Sure, why not. I think Tincanfireman said it best. It doesn't violate any of my beliefs, so if it makes the patient feel better, I don't see any reason not to pray with them. I would do it out of respect for the patient's beliefs.

Even though I, personally, don't believe in miracles or an afterlife, that doesn't make them impossible. It's just that I haven't experienced anything to make me believe. I would be the first to admit that I could be wrong, and whether I am right or wrong, it's beside the point. It's not about me, it's about the patient, and I think we're all equal no matter what we happen to believe.

 

[Ridryder911]

How do you pray, if you don't believe? Are you just saying empty words? I much rather for someone say, I wish you well.

Before my father died, I remember some of his health care providers would say that and his response was then to ask them if they mind if he could pray for them?

My minister is also the hospital Chaplain. He is amazing during stressful times, by handling the family and as well assisting the staff both physically and emotionally. Never gets in the way and will pray with the family in the corner of the room, with emphasis that we (health care providers) have a mission to do and should not stop. Emphasizing the importance of our actions at the time.

I have no problem saying prayers with someone, what an honor to be allowed into a very personal spot of their faith and belief. Nothing much more can be an honor to be involved in their spiritual care. This does NOT mean one has to go extreme and or change the pattern of care, as I can multi-task on many things.

R/r 911

 

[Maya]

Well, I haven't been in that situation yet. Do people expect you to say an actual prayer? I was thinking more like, hold their hand and have a moment of silence. I wouldn't make something up that I didn't mean, but I don't think it would be the time to explain that I don't believe in God either. I don't think it would really even matter to them anyway, since it's not about me.

 

[johnrsemt]

I have had patients ask me to pray with them, both quietly and outloud. I have had them ask me to give them a moment of silence so that they and/or their family could say a prayer. and I have had patients ask me to say a prayer for them.

the first two I do if I can, with what I need to do for them.
the third one I do as I can; if patient is stable and I am not doing anything I will bow my head and say a prayer out loud, If I can't do that I will say one out loud while I am doing what I need to do.

I have never had anyone get upset at me, even though I may pray differently than they do.

had many people thank me for it afterwards.

 

[Sasha]

How do you pray, if you don't believe? Are you just saying empty words?

Are your words somehow magical and more comforting because you are a Christian? How is the patient to know your religion or lack of thereof?

 

[MendoEMT]

Only ever had a couple of people want me to pray with them, I find it more common to have a family member wanting to say a prayer, which is fine as long as I can still do my job.

 

[PapaBear434]

One of my favorite quotes from Futurama.

http://www.gotfuturama.com/Multimedia/EpisodeSounds/3ACV20/07.mp3

 

[subliminal1284]

One of my favorite quotes from Futurama.

http://www.gotfuturama.com/Multimedia/EpisodeSounds/3ACV20/07.mp3

Link fail.

 

[subliminal1284]

The patient has no way of knowing if they are empty words or not and if its going to help them feel more at ease and its not going to interupt your patient care then why not.

 

[Maya]

Quoting Futurama in the original German?

I think RidRyder meant maybe because it's insincere or condescending, but it's not meant that way. I think it's more like trying to speak Spanish when you go to visit a Spanish-speaking country. I might not believe in what someone else believes, but I can try to be compassionate and have a sense of the humanity of their situation. Whether or not either one of us believes in God, we're both human and face the same issues in our lives. We've just come to different conclusions.

 

[JonTullos]

I don't see how this could do any harm. My stance would be as long as the patient is stable and I'm not in the middle of an assessment I'll be glad to pray with them or for them. But I should point out that I'm a Christian and I live in Mississippi... I know attitudes vary from region to region.

My question: Are there any agencies that, while they can't have a rule against it (due to Constitution and all that), frown upon any kind of religion being involved?

 

[EMTinNEPA]

In my eyes, prayer is a ridiculous and ego-centric concept. To those of you who pray: do you not find any type of issue with asking the creator of the ENTIRE UNIVERSE to grant you a personal favor. The idea of prayer is an extension of human ego, of the old ideas that the universe revolves around us, when the reality is that we are small and insignificant. So small and insignificant, that the creator of the universe granting us a wish would be akin to a conscious sun granting a wish to a single bacterium on the ocean floor.

Patient asks me to pray with them? Simple... I just say I can't, I have a job to do. And then I set about either ACTUALLY helping the patient, or just looking busy.

 

[DV_EMT]

Its simple for me.

I don't necessarily pray with someone if they ask me to. But every person that "potentially could die" I pray for their souls. To us as EMT's, A life is the most important thing to save. If you can't save their life, try to help save their soul's by saying a short prayer over them (usually silent).

** note I am catholic and believe that everyone -- no matter who or what they believe -- need prayers because they are going through their own problems in life.

...but that's just me. Anyone else have any variations of this that they do?

 

[Ped101]

I have prayed before with patients, regardless of my religious afiliation, i think it is like someone said before: I am there for the patient's comfort, not my own.

 

[JonTullos]

In my eyes, prayer is a ridiculous and ego-centric concept. To those of you who pray: do you not find any type of issue with asking the creator of the ENTIRE UNIVERSE to grant you a personal favor. The idea of prayer is an extension of human ego, of the old ideas that the universe revolves around us, when the reality is that we are small and insignificant. So small and insignificant, that the creator of the universe granting us a wish would be akin to a conscious sun granting a wish to a single bacterium on the ocean floor.

Patient asks me to pray with them? Simple... I just say I can't, I have a job to do. And then I set about either ACTUALLY helping the patient, or just looking busy.

If you would like to really talk about this, PM me and I'll be glad to talk in private about it.

 

[DV_EMT]

If you would like to really talk about this, PM me and I'll be glad to talk in private about it.

ah yeah.... its going down haha