NICKNAMES:
If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
If Mike, Dave and John go out; they will call each other Fat Boy, :censored::censored::censored::censored::censored::censored::censored::censored: and S**t for Brains.
EATING OUT:
When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in a $20, even though the bill is only $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller or want change.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY:
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item that he needs.
A woman with pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need, but is on sale
BATHROOM:
A man has six items in his bathroom: Toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, bar of soap and a towel.
A woman has 337 items in their typical bathroom; and a man won't be able to identify more than 20 of them.
ARGUMENTS:
A woman has the last word in any arguement.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new arguement.
FUTURE:
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
SUCCESS:
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
MARRIAGE:
A woman marries a man expecting he will change; but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she wont change, but she does.
DRESSING UP:
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, emtpy the trash, answer the phone, read a book and get the mail,
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL:
Men wake up as good looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING:
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments, and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
THOUGHT:
A married man should forget his mistakes. There is no use in two people remember the same thing!
If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
If Mike, Dave and John go out; they will call each other Fat Boy, :censored::censored::censored::censored::censored::censored::censored::censored: and S**t for Brains.
EATING OUT:
When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in a $20, even though the bill is only $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller or want change.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY:
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item that he needs.
A woman with pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need, but is on sale
BATHROOM:
A man has six items in his bathroom: Toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, bar of soap and a towel.
A woman has 337 items in their typical bathroom; and a man won't be able to identify more than 20 of them.
ARGUMENTS:
A woman has the last word in any arguement.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new arguement.
FUTURE:
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
SUCCESS:
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
MARRIAGE:
A woman marries a man expecting he will change; but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she wont change, but she does.
DRESSING UP:
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, emtpy the trash, answer the phone, read a book and get the mail,
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL:
Men wake up as good looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING:
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments, and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
THOUGHT:
A married man should forget his mistakes. There is no use in two people remember the same thing!
