Update

[Jon]

Friends,

As most of you are aware, I've been "MedicStudent" Jon for a while. That will no longer be the case.


Last fall, I failed to complete my ride-time, did not graduate the program, and did not ever test for EMT-P.

Why? In short, because I wasn't mature enough.

I wasn't mature enough to be at class or precepting sites on-time on a regular basis.

I wasn't mature enough to take notes or study. Going through high school, I almost never had to "study" - I was able to grasp the material just by sitting through class. This killed me in pharmacology, and, because I never learned the drugs well enough, it snowballed to cause me to not really pass ACLS/PALS. My studying habits also hurt me with disease processes, cardiac rythryms, and many other things.

I wasn't mature enough to properly track and record my clinical information, including a failure to do a clinical "journal"

I wasn't mature enough to know "when to shut up" - I have a loud voice, and often have difficulty "reading people" - facial expressions, tone of voice, etc (I sometimes can't tell if someone is being sarcastic) This means that I have problems telling when someone is trying to "tell me" something non-verbally.


Why am I saying all of this? Because part of this post is to make my shortcomings more "real" to me, and to acknowledge them myself.


Do I possibly have the option to go back to medic school? Yes. Will I? Probably not... I missed too much information and too many classes. I would almost have to go through the whole program again, and while that is a possibility in the future, I can't do that right now.


What am I doing?:
I'm currently applying to Nursing school (my original goal) for the fall of 2007. Between now and Fall, 2007, I'm going to start taking college courses (English, History, Anatomy, Physiology). I'm going to work on study-skills, and get used to a college environment.

My longer-term plans remain unchanged - I want to work as a pre-hospital RN (Flight/Ground Critical care transport).

Thanks for reading this,

Jon.

 

[bumpus]

Don't be too hard on yourself, Jon. It looks like you at least know exactly what you did wrong, and that's really the whole point, isn't it? You learned from your mistakes

 

[MariaCatEMT]

I am touched by your honesty, but your self-appraisel may be far more harsh than it should be. I will, still, have no problem coming to you with a question because of your experience and approachability. There are many, even in this forum, that I would be hesitant to approach with a question, you do not fall into that category. Good luck with your nursing school goal. I hope you do well, and have confidence you will. You feel you didn't have the maturity to complete medic school, what I see is far different. Your honesty, and the ability to set goals despite a setback, say much, much more. It demonstrates character...which is earned over time, with experience, through right and wrong choices. Jon....I wish you well in all you do, and pray good fortune upon your future. I'm glad to know you, even if it is just in here!

 

[Tincanfireman]

Jon, one of the hardest things a person can do is stand in front of their personal mirror and take a good hard look at themselves. More often than not it's not a pretty sight, because if it was they probably wouldn't be standing there in the first place. (I would hope that only Austin Powers and Fat B@$&@^! would stand there and tell the world what a sexy ***** they are ). Second only to that would be to then write honestly about your feelings in a very public place and in front of your peers. You mentioned a perceived lack of maturity and failure to follow through in your post; believe me; I can think of few things more difficult, more mature and more healing than what you accomplished in your post. We've all been through periods of self-introspection and doubt, some conquer them and some don't. You, sir, already have. Best of luck with your plans and your future.

 

[Stevo]

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream--and not make dreams your master,
If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;

If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,

If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!


--Rudyard Kipling

~S~

 

[ptemt]

You sound like you have matured through the process of failure. Don't forget the lesson and you will do fine.

 

[DT4EMS]

Jon,

Many people have tried and didn't make things happen on the first attempt. I feel your pain, just in a different way.

As long as a goal has been set and you achieve it, no matter HOW you get there (as long as it is ethical) you still succeed.

I commend you for your honsety. It takes a real man to step up. I have a new type of respect for you.

 

[Guardian]

I would also like to commend you for your honesty. Your posts have always seemed authentic and truthful which is why they're so enjoyable to read. They say that most successful people have far more failures than average people because they weren't afraid to stick their neck out take a chance even if it meant failing 95% of the time. I have failed in many endeavors, and the question I always ask myself is "am I better for having gone through this?" The answer of course is always "yes"...I'm starting to sound like a tony robbins tape so I'll just say good luck, you'll do fine.