The "ghosts"...

[AustinNative]

I remember most of the codes that I worked, including my first. They don't bother me at all. The reason is that I have come to the realization that no matter what modern medicine does, the best we can do is provide a good shove towards life. If it's the patient's time, there's nothing we can ultimately do to prevent that. I do my best to provide the nudge or shove and know that beyond that, there's nothing that I can do.

Well put. Thanks.

 

[lightsandsirens5]

Remembering is one thing, being haunted is another. I have two places where I did some major, tragic traumas, that are both unfortunately along the route of my commute. Every work day, twice a day, I remember those calls. Just for an instant, and then it passes. Were it to stick with me or were I to feel stress or find myself having any stress related difficulties now, I'd seek some assistance.

Well said. I had an MVA with an 11 month old fatality that I must pass fairly often and every time I do, I can still see her face. It does not "haunt" me however. There was a time following the call, about a two week period, where whenever I closed my eyes, my thoughts went back to the scene and I could see her face. Every time I could see the look in here eyes that said "I am going to die, help me" and every time I still felt as if I was struggling to help her, but failing, just like I felt on scene. I thought I would never get over it. But now I have to a certain extent. I still am bothered by it when I actually sit and think about it. But I don't see her every time I close my eyes. I don't dream the same dreams every night about her and my helplessness to save her. You will get over it. It does take time. But you will.

 

[Phlipper]

Interesting thread.

My first gunshot as an EMT was likely gone (for good) before we got him in the truck and he was very bloody, his eyes wide open and unfocused, blood coming out of his mouth, etc. Just a bad scene. Immediately afterward back at the station were indulging in a bit of morbid humor, as medical professionals often do. And we noticed the new EMT-B student on his very first shift looking a little glazed, himself.

I'm new to EMS, as well, but have assisted in treating GSWs and blast wounds in a military context. Pretty gruesome stuff sometimes, added to the fact that I often knew the pt well, or in the case of opponents had likely been the cause of the injuries. But our new EMT student has probably never been exposed to anything like that, and we often take for granted everyone is on the same sheet of music. I wondered then if someone maybe should talk with him afterward. We think men should be macho and unaffected and not need to talk about it, but it really shouldn't be that way.

For the record ... I'm only haunted by ex-wives.

 

[Aidey]

I have a rule, which I attempt to stick by pretty closely. I allow myself 24 hours to be upset/pissed off/whatever after nasty calls, and then I'm done. I will still think about, or talk about the call, but I'm done letting it get to me (if it got to me at all). In a way, I'm strange because while I am compassionate, it is very easy for me to detach myself from a situation. I honestly can't remember my first code. I remember the codes I ran early in my career, but I couldn't tell you which one was first.

I can remember a lot of my codes because I have an elephant's memory when it comes to remembering strange or different calls, especially those that have educational value. I am also very aggressive about follow up and getting as much information as possible. I love it when the hospital whips out the I-Stat because they get the results before we leave, and I can see what kind of shape the patient was in.

Edit: I should add that if you are being haunted by a call, you need to address it sooner rather than later. I work with someone who had a 4 person fatality accident 5+ years ago, while working for a different agency. They still won't work on that day, and I can't help but think how unhealthy that is.