Problem with Partner

[FF/EMT Sam]

I work for a volunteer agency. Although all of us have had a problem with a partner at some time or another, I'm at my rope's end for what to do with a problem that I'm having.

"Sarah" and I have run a lot of calls together. We are both EMT-Bs and usually get together very well. We are friends, not just partners. However, the agency that we work for is very much a "good ol' boy's club," and Sarah very accurately perceives some of the prejudice that is targeted at her because she is female. However, she also can be hypersensitive to this prejudice and takes offense to stuff that wasn't targeted at her. Despite some of this prejudice, she was recently promoted and is now my supervisor.

Case in point: Several days ago, we were in a patient's house. Sarah claims that she asked me a question, but if she did, I didn't hear her. At the same time, a fmaily member asked me if he should move a chair out of the way of the stretcher, and if he moved it, would it be in our way. I replied, (in a friendly, relaxed tone), "Don't worry about it, just move it."

We start transporting the patient to the hospital, with Sarah in the front and me in the back. Transport was uneventful, but on the way back to the station, she chewed me out in front of the other 2 crew members for being rude and insubordinate. Turns out that she's convinced that I answered her question (which I never even heard) with "Don't worry about it, just do it." I explained what happened, but she didn't believe me. It ended with me explaining that that's not how I talk, and that I don't think that I said it, but if I did, I was sincerely sorry.

I thought that would be the end of it, but a few days later, we responded to a call together, with her giving me some very heavy-duty silent treatment. Before the ambulance left the station, I offered no fewer than three times to stay back if she didn't want me on the ambulance. We arrive on scene and an EMT student and I start getting vitals, SAMPLE, etc. from the patient while Sarah and the driver got the stretcher. When she walked in the house, I gave her a sheet of paper with the vitals and SAMPLE on it. She replied, in front of the patient, the crew, and her mother, (who is also a good friend of mine and holds a senior position in the county EMS system), "You don't need to be on the ambulance right now. Just go." She threw away the piece of paper and went through SAMPLE/vitals again. I had to walk about a half mile back to the station.

Here's how I see it:
--I screwed up by not just apologizing and getting it over with, even though I didn't do anything.
--She screwed up by repeatedly letting her anger at me interfere with patient care.

What would you do in my shoes?

 

[KEVD18]

punch her in the f in head.

seriously, some interpersonel issues just cant be fixed. do you have to work the same shift together? i suppose a better question is are there shifts or is it a call dept? if shifts, dont work with her. if not, hope you both dont respond to call together. also, write her up IMMEDIATLEY for her conduct on that run. first demeaning you infront of a pt/family is 100% unacceptable. making you walk back to the house??? no way. not a chance that would take place with me. you need to speak to your house captain and get this resolved before the next tones drop. this si the sort of thing that can escalate to extreme ugliness very quickly.

i have had several bad partnerships in my carreer to date and will doubtless have more. some have been my fault, some theirs(reference my "stupid rookie" thread). you need to handle this NOW or you jeopradize pt care. bottom line.

 

[jeepmedic]

You have talked to her now she is treating you this way with a witness then go above her. Go to her supervisor. Plan and simple if this is what happened and she must think something differant, then you all need some 3rd party to sit with both of you and get it stright. Before it keeps snow balln'

 

[Jon]

Ok... I'm not sure how your system works... why would the supervisor be responding with the crew?

The behiavor on her part seems unaceptable. I think you need to talk to HER boss and try to have him mediate the situation... because making you walk back isn't cool.

 

[Ridryder911]

I would have her written up so fast... her actions and behavior was not only inappropriate but unethical in front of a patient, student. Immediate dismissal should occur, if what you are saying is correct.

There is no room for ego's in patient care, you apologized for the misunderstandings (which was petty).

R/r 911

 

[FF/EMT Sam]

seriously, some interpersonel issues just cant be fixed. do you have to work the same shift together? i suppose a better question is are there shifts or is it a call dept? if shifts, dont work with her.

We are a call department. We sign up for shifts to be on call, but although we can usually get the truck out the door in a reasonable amount of time, we don't have a crew signed up for every single shift. For this particular call, I was on duty and she wasn't, but she still had every right to come on the call.

I won't be taking a shift with her anytime soon, but it's a small community and an even smaller agency, so completely avoiding her isn't a viable option.

Ok... I'm not sure how your system works... why would the supervisor be responding with the crew?

We're a small, rural volunteer agency. If our supervisors didn't run calls, we'd have serious shortage of EMTs.

 

[joemt]

With the information given (and I'm certain that you both have very different ways of telling the story), I would say that she is in the wrong to have this discussion in front of a patient or other EMS Provider. She is also wrong for making you walk back to base. You need to chat with your chief / director.

 

[emt4life]

Sounds too me like she might be pretty nervous about her new position, however, her conduct in front during the call was completely uncalled for and I would confront her about it. If it didn't change, then it would be the time to go the next step up. Since you said you two are friends, see if maybe she will tell you what is really going on, I have a feeling it is a lot of insecurity.

I am glad you brought this question up because I know everyone has a problem with partners at one point or another, I also have a problem with a partner too, maybe you can help me too.

I enjoy my job and everyone I work with one exception. This person is only liked by a couple people in our deparment. The main reason is because you cannot trust them in a stressful situations, you won't be able to find them half the time. About the only thing they can handle are the sick LOL, but definetly not trauma. They do not pay attention on calls, so when you do finally get their attention, they take it as they are yelling at them in front of the patients, which sometimes needs to be done, so that they keep on task. They take that everything is a personal attack, and then try and point everything on you and scolds you like you are 2years old.

The last situation they started nagging and nagging, and finally I said "enough, I am tired of arguing, what is done is done, we can't change it now" and they still would not let it go.

Oh and the other thing while we are not on a run, this person will use the company phone to make personal calls, including long distance. And the boss knows and still does nothing.

I, unfourtunetly, have a couple of shifts with this person in the next coming weeks (believe me I have been pretty good about moving my schedule around except this time I can't). Any ideas to not wind up killing this person? I try and avoid them as much as possible, but it is hard to work with a partner you know you can't depend on when the stuff hits the fan.

P.S. I hope you two can work it out FF/EMT SAM it sounds like you two were good friends before this, I hope you can be again.

 

[Airwaygoddess]

Well here is my fifty cents on it Sam, I truly believe that when some folks get a promotion, it goes to their heads and pushes out all of the good common sense out of their brains and also they tend to forget (depends on their time frame for thinking) about about the folks that were their advocates, thru the good and the bad times. As far as her conduct to you, the patient and their family and other agencies involved with this call was unexceptable, unprofessional, and down right rude! It is hard enough to work with a patient under trying conditions, but even worse with that kind of behavior in front of other entities. Lord knows there is enough gossip and bull:censored: in this job. So my friend it sounds like you are going to call her on the carpet for her actions, I think what is a bummer, is that you both were co workers and friends. That is never easy, but the bottom line is you should not be treated that way and second, this has and will to continue to compromise patient care. I hope she comes to her senses and remembers who her true friends are.-_-

 

[AnthonyM83]

If you got along with her before, I'd tell her there's obviously a problem and you liked getting along with her before, so you'd like to figure out what's causing the problem and what's changed from before and now. I'd use that specific wording...find out what in her mind is different.

If after that she's not going to let it work out, I'd just start documenting everything.

 

[premedtim]

I work for a volunteer agency. Although all of us have had a problem with a partner at some time or another, I'm at my rope's end for what to do with a problem that I'm having.

"Sarah" and I have run a lot of calls together. We are both EMT-Bs and usually get together very well. We are friends, not just partners. However, the agency that we work for is very much a "good ol' boy's club," and Sarah very accurately perceives some of the prejudice that is targeted at her because she is female. However, she also can be hypersensitive to this prejudice and takes offense to stuff that wasn't targeted at her. Despite some of this prejudice, she was recently promoted and is now my supervisor.

Case in point: Several days ago, we were in a patient's house. Sarah claims that she asked me a question, but if she did, I didn't hear her. At the same time, a fmaily member asked me if he should move a chair out of the way of the stretcher, and if he moved it, would it be in our way. I replied, (in a friendly, relaxed tone), "Don't worry about it, just move it."

We start transporting the patient to the hospital, with Sarah in the front and me in the back. Transport was uneventful, but on the way back to the station, she chewed me out in front of the other 2 crew members for being rude and insubordinate. Turns out that she's convinced that I answered her question (which I never even heard) with "Don't worry about it, just do it." I explained what happened, but she didn't believe me. It ended with me explaining that that's not how I talk, and that I don't think that I said it, but if I did, I was sincerely sorry.

I thought that would be the end of it, but a few days later, we responded to a call together, with her giving me some very heavy-duty silent treatment. Before the ambulance left the station, I offered no fewer than three times to stay back if she didn't want me on the ambulance. We arrive on scene and an EMT student and I start getting vitals, SAMPLE, etc. from the patient while Sarah and the driver got the stretcher. When she walked in the house, I gave her a sheet of paper with the vitals and SAMPLE on it. She replied, in front of the patient, the crew, and her mother, (who is also a good friend of mine and holds a senior position in the county EMS system), "You don't need to be on the ambulance right now. Just go." She threw away the piece of paper and went through SAMPLE/vitals again. I had to walk about a half mile back to the station.

Here's how I see it:
--I screwed up by not just apologizing and getting it over with, even though I didn't do anything.
--She screwed up by repeatedly letting her anger at me interfere with patient care.

What would you do in my shoes?

This person sounds like she needs a leave of absence and a psychiatric evaluation. I would talk to whomever you need to in order to make sure that both of those things happen. There's never a reason, in any job, for anyone to behave like that. Especially in view of the public, sheesh.

 

[Mercy4Angels]

bury her......unacceptable after you clearly apologized. supervisor ? who cares if shes the president. wrong is wrong. GO ABOVE HER HEAD and get this straightened out. making you walk home ? oh hell no...

 

[Tincanfireman]

bury her......unacceptable after you clearly apologized. supervisor ? who cares if shes the president. wrong is wrong. GO ABOVE HER HEAD and get this straightened out. making you walk home ? oh hell no...

Ditto; if anyone needs to do some walking, it's your former partner, right out the door. She's a supervisor and is therefore charged with setting an example for good ethics and performance, not bush-league stuff like this. Having a County EMS supervisor as a witness wouldn't seem to hurt your cause either...

 

[CotWoman]

Ditto; if anyone needs to do some walking, it's your former partner, right out the door. She's a supervisor and is therefore charged with setting an example for good ethics and performance, not bush-league stuff like this. Having a County EMS supervisor as a witness wouldn't seem to hurt your cause either...

I agree.
Have her escorted out. It is completely unprofessional for ANYONE to act like that in public's eye.
Especially when it's jepordizing patients care. Regardless whether or not she's a supervisor, no one should be telling you to "walk". That's wrong.

 

[FF/EMT Sam]

Thanks to everyone for their input. As much as I hate to do it, I need to bite the bullet and bring in the big guns. We are going to have a meeting this weekend to try to resolve it. I'll let you know how it works out.

 

[Airwaygoddess]

I hope things go well, hang in there Sam!

 

[FF/EMT Sam]

So, our meeting got moved up to this evening after our station meeting. She is still refusing to speak to me, and all the advice we got was to "find a way to resolve it before it becomes a bigger problem." Seeing as how it's already a HUGE problem, I have never been this :censored: :censored: :censored: furious in my life.

I am seriously considering quitting if this bs keeps up. I love doing this job, but I'm sick and tired of combating response issues and getting blamed for :censored: stuff like this.

:angry: :angry: :angry:

</rant>

Sorry, but I had to get that off my chest.

 

[ffemt8978]

Did you explain to them that her making you walk back from a call is not only a problem, but a liability for them as well? If you would have been injured on the walk back, you'd still have been covered by Workman's Comp.

 

[Airwaygoddess]

Dam!

SAM! will anyone back you up that was on that call with you? This is going to affect the moral of your other co-workers and :censored: :censored: this will affect patient care, look what happened already with those V.S. on that patient. Have you been there longer then her?

 

[FF/EMT Sam]

She's got seniority.
As for the other people on the call:
--Her mom and I are friends, but if she takes sides, she'll stick with her daughter
--The EMT Student agrees with me, but since he's a student, his opinion is useless in the eyes of the powers that be.
--Her husband is staying out of it
--The driver didn't see it

My last option is a meeting this weekend with the Rescue Captain. If that fails, I'm outta there so :censored: fast that it'll make my head spin. However, the Resuce Captain is a very intelligent and reasonable man, and I've got high hopes for the meeting.