Life is so unfair

Emtgirl21

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We have had alot of fatal car accidents lately. This is the part that sucks. A drunk driving traveling at high rate of speed hits a guard rail flips at least twice. Isnt wearing a seatbelt and lives. However a car of four girls, 16 and 14 yr olds traveling at the speed limit wearing seatbelts doing nothing wrong. One tire leave the road way the driver over corrects loses control and two are dead on scene and two will never be the same again. What is fair about that situation? Someone explain this to me? UGH! :sad:
 

BossyCow

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Life is supposed to be fair? Wow, I never noticed that in practice, only in theory.

Saturday we lost a 24 yo girl to an accidental drug overdose and the next day, my husband worked a code on a 90+ guy that came back from asystole.

I think when you start looking for consistancy or reason on who makes it and who doesn't, you are starting down a scary path. We do what we can and hope it's not their day to die.
 

mbrewer_lifesaver06

Forum Ride Along
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i didnt have time to write much earlier, i was in a rush...

more added to what i said:

sometimes calls dont work out the way we want them to. just be thankful you got to help in all the ways you could and know you did everything you could....thats what i do
 

Amack

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Even though I'm still restricted to the classroom, and admittedly, I haven't been out in the field just yet for ride time or otherwise, I have been through much more than anyone my age has ever had to cope with.

When I was 16 years old, my mother passed away due to a pulmonary embolism, as a complication of gastric bypass surgery. One year, 4 months later, my best (childhood, and nextdoor neighbor of 12 years) was killed in a MVA (rollover), due to his :censored::censored::censored::censored: *** friend who decided to do 70+ around a 25 mph hairpin curve down a thickly residential street, just to show my best friend his new turbo timer. 2005 wasn't too bad. In 2006, My grandfather succumbed to terminal GI cancer. And in Dec. 2006, my other grandfather, passed on as well.


What have I learned from all of this?

Life throws you some serious :censored::censored::censored::censored:. What makes or breaks you is how you handle it and what you learn from it. The latter is what keeps me going to this day. The knowledge, insights, and lessons learned from both the people we love , and those of whom we wished we had more time to get to know (i.e. the patients that you and I will come across in our professional paths), always have something to share and give, conscious or not, they make us think and reconsider the very life we possess and use for the benefit of others,


That's not to exclude the ostensible fact that in the meantime, loss does suck!

Don't beat yourself up over it


Peace and best wishes

Amack
 

knxemt1983

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I agree life is not fair, the fact that drunk drivers seem to walk away from horrible wrecks that maim or kill innocent people just doesn't sit right with me or anyone I know, but it happens. I hate to see it, and hate to be part of it, but if we are not there it might happen more.

over time we all get frustrated with the unfairness, why does a drug addict living in a :censored:hole eating nothing healthy OD on cocaine and live to talk about it, when a 27 y/o girl dies from a PE? I dont know, but it's not my job to decipher right from wrong, it's my job to help those I can, and comfort those I can't.

We ahve to remember that we are not the cause of the circumstances, but we are the "angels of mercy" to help however we can.

I had to embrace this mindset to deal with the things that happen around us, for me helping however I can meant, even when doing BLS I do whatever I can to help my pt, so at the end of the day I can look back and honestly say "I did my very best for everyone". I was fortunate to have a partner that has been a PM for 27 years, and he gave me alot of wisdom and insight into this and he once told me "we are going into peoples lives on the worst day of their lives, and what will it hurt to show a little extra effort adn do what we can for them"

I dont care who you are, eventually you will have to find a way to deal with the grief of the job, if nothing ever bothers you, nothing gets to you, then that worries me because either you just don't care about people, or it is all bottling up inside you. If this stuff bothers you enough to the point that you think about it too much, I would contact your company's EAP, or maybe cut back to BLS if it gives you a break from emergencies, and regain your perspective.

this is not directed at anyone in general, but just some things I picked over the last few years, and the original psot sounds kinda like the situatuation I was in a little while back. hope it helps someone, and if I mistyped anything just let me know, or if you see any erros in my insight constructive criticism is ok.
 
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Emtgirl21

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It doesnt bother me to the point that it affects my job or my life...... it was just the thought that hit me as i was the mopping blood out the back of the rig.
 

Summit

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Life is always sh!tty, but not everywhere at once (usually). Sometimes good people just end up in the Zones of **** (tm).
 
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BossyCow

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Life is always sh!tty, but not everywhere at once (usually). Sometimes good people just end up in the Zones of **** (tm).

"Zone's of ****.." Okay... got that one written down!!!
 
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Emtgirl21

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SOooooo this week just got better. My ex-finance best friend was hit by a car yesterday morning on his motorcycle and was killed. He'd been back from Iraq for 6 months and had just started his dream job. Zone of ****?
 

knxemt1983

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when it rains it pours huh..... yeah we all have that thought at some time or another, if we dont, then we aren't human.
 

firetender

Community Leader Emeritus
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I guess life, to we who are left and observing, really is unfair!

How comes we talk about life's unfairness most when someone gets dead? Maybe it's because as long as we're alive, we make most of our own misery.

We always talk about death as if it were a thing that comes down on someone from out of nowhere. Sometimes people get taken out of the game and parts of them were completely ready, if not looking forward to, death. I've been witness to hundreds of moments of death. Figure at least a dozen of them were of people who I had enough interaction with (prior) to be able to say, "Yeah, there are lots of people who play a part in orchestrating their own deaths."

The truth is, it's us, the living, who go through the conflicts and the pain of life's unfairness. The ones who get taken out -- prematurely or otherwise -- if what we've been told is half-true, don't seem to have those kinds of worries anymore.

As long as we are alive, however, wouldn't "What can I do to make life a little more fair for someone who's here now?" a Better question than, "Why's life so damn unfair?"
 
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Ridryder911

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Good points. As I become older or ancient, I realize no one ever promised life to be fair. In fact even the old saying ... pursuit of happiness is often misinterpreted. It is the pursuit, not that you will always have or ever obtain happiness.... then again, what interpretation and definition is happiness?

As one matures, and obtain more life experiences, one begins to notice it is the tragedies and obstacles that you learn from. As well it is how, one handles those events and the aftermath is what differentiate growth or obstacles.

R/r 911
 
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