So I was a wildland firefighter until a little while before I met my girlfriend of the last year and a half. I'm going through emt school but I do have previous medical experience. How do I prepare my girlfriend for what's coming once I get assigned to an ambulance? How do I explain that I'm going to be working 24 hour shifts and that when I'm home my sleep will be erratic? That I'm at the beck and call of my pager and will work holidays? Most importantly, what do I say to prepare her for the things I'm going to see? My dad is a fire chief/emt and he still has nightmares over calls and all my mom can do is hold his hand while he gets over it. How am I supposed to tell my girlfriend that she needs to be prepared for me to come home with nightmares?
How do I prepare my girlfriend?
- Thread starter Mopas23
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I think you are making it sound more exciting than it really is. Most EMS work, even 911, is a lot of routine stuff that is not very entertaining, much less exciting.
You need a sleep schedule, if your sleep is erratic, you are not going to last long, so it won't be an issue.
Easiliy solved by turning it off.
It is not every holiday, it is some, and most people I know just celebrate on an alternative day.
I never talk to my wife about work. We have been married for 8 years. She doesn't ask.
I think your dad needs serious help.
If you are having nightmares you need help too.
Not because of weakness, or coolness, but because that is not a normal part of emergency work. It is pathological and no job is worth the destruction it will cause to your personal life and relationships.
If I have 2 nightmares about work, I am going to a psychiatrist the next day and getting specialty training in peds oncology.
rwik123
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You should write a novel.
DarkStarr
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Wow, you make my job sound way more exciting than it is.
WuLabsWuTecH
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I guess the biggest thing here is just to let her know that if you come home tired or upset and don't want to talk about it, then for her not to poke you. But that's pretty much the same with any job. I've never had any issues with my SO's over the years and most are understanding that I might get home a bit late every now and again but once again, that's not so different from a regular job.
Some will be willing to talk to you and let you get things off of your chest, and others want to hear no part about the troubles of the rest of the world, and once again, I've never found this to be that big of a deal.
Some will be willing to talk to you and let you get things off of your chest, and others want to hear no part about the troubles of the rest of the world, and once again, I've never found this to be that big of a deal.
bigbaldguy
Former medic seven years 911 service in houston
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Get a sleep guard for your teeth. That's all I got.
NYMedic828
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I don't know what you guys are talking about.
This is pretty much how my past work week went down.
You guys need to step up your game!
Seriously, OP, slowwwww it down. You are going to pick up hobos, not drive through raging infernos/explosions and dodge bullets in gunfights.
This is pretty much how my past work week went down.
You guys need to step up your game!
Seriously, OP, slowwwww it down. You are going to pick up hobos, not drive through raging infernos/explosions and dodge bullets in gunfights.
MadMedic
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Baby oil, that's really good advise!
I work 48 hours on and 96 off, but i've been with my wife for 17 years and married 10 years of that, with no kids, to me work is a great was to get out of the house. But we do talk every night and if needed we video skype.
Like most said, your making it out to be a job out of the movies. Most days your going to go home shaking your head with what you did that shift. All your advanced training...
If you do happen to see something that bothers you, you need to talk to your co-workers about it or your Captain. Spend as much time as you need talking to them, and don't bring it home. She will never understand.
If anything, question your ability to cope with the job, not how to make your girlfriend understand this job. That isn't fair to her, just make sure she is prepared for you.
I work 48 hours on and 96 off, but i've been with my wife for 17 years and married 10 years of that, with no kids, to me work is a great was to get out of the house. But we do talk every night and if needed we video skype.
Like most said, your making it out to be a job out of the movies. Most days your going to go home shaking your head with what you did that shift. All your advanced training...
If you do happen to see something that bothers you, you need to talk to your co-workers about it or your Captain. Spend as much time as you need talking to them, and don't bring it home. She will never understand.
If anything, question your ability to cope with the job, not how to make your girlfriend understand this job. That isn't fair to her, just make sure she is prepared for you.
WuLabsWuTecH
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MadMedic! A few of my friends have gone to the 48/96's and they love it (until the tornado hit St. Louis anyways, then it was a loooooog day as the tornado hit around 8pm of the first 24 of the 48...)
IDK if you have ever worked 24/48, but do you find the same satisfaction from your home life as you did in 24s vs 48s?
And yes, phone calls before bedtime (which for me can be as early as 8 or 9pm) keeps it so you don't seem like your a world away. I know some guys who skype but I personally prefer taking an evening walk at the same time I make the phone call so I get some fresh air. If your station allows it, your SO can also swing by to say hi after she gets off of work. None of the girls I've dated lived anywhere near where I worked, so I've never done this but many of my partners will have their wives/gfs/husmands/bfs bring over dinner or go out to get something quick by the station. Sometimes the kids will come after school, etc. We have a rule that visitors are welcome downstairs (away from the bunkrooms in case anyone is napping etc) until 2200. Pets are allowed in the bay and on the ramp only.
IDK if you have ever worked 24/48, but do you find the same satisfaction from your home life as you did in 24s vs 48s?
And yes, phone calls before bedtime (which for me can be as early as 8 or 9pm) keeps it so you don't seem like your a world away. I know some guys who skype but I personally prefer taking an evening walk at the same time I make the phone call so I get some fresh air. If your station allows it, your SO can also swing by to say hi after she gets off of work. None of the girls I've dated lived anywhere near where I worked, so I've never done this but many of my partners will have their wives/gfs/husmands/bfs bring over dinner or go out to get something quick by the station. Sometimes the kids will come after school, etc. We have a rule that visitors are welcome downstairs (away from the bunkrooms in case anyone is napping etc) until 2200. Pets are allowed in the bay and on the ramp only.
bigbaldguy
Former medic seven years 911 service in houston
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Family friendly site folks. Stay on topic please.
bigbaldguy
Former medic seven years 911 service in houston
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One of my mentors uses face time every night to say good night to his kid without fail (barring being in the middle of a call). Sappy as hell but you have to create a sense of normalcy for the folks in your life with whatever means you have available. The kid is used to saying good night to his dad every night so he makes sure it happens. Same with wife/girlfriend/boyfriend/husband whatever. Try and keep things as normal as possible for their sake. This normalcy is going to mean you have to leave what you see at work, at work as much as possible. You can't come home and unload all the stupidity and nastiness you see during the day when you get home. You do have to unload it somehow though and this is all the more reason to build and foster relationships with your peers because this is who you should be unloading that kind of stuff on and they should be unloading it on you. Our peers function kind of like our safety valves. Sometimes it seems like people in EMS :censored::censored::censored::censored::censored: more than anyone other profession but it's not necessarily *****ing sometimes its coping.
AnthonyM83
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24 hour shifts means you'll have way more time for her, as you're usually only going to be working 5 times per pay period. I've never been called in for mandatory work...only a few few times have they asked people to come in for a major incident IF they were available. Not too much preparation needed...
Careful man, you're gonna burn yourself out before even starting...
Careful man, you're gonna burn yourself out before even starting...
This sounds like something Apple should know about. Does your mentor want to be in a commercial?
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abckidsmom
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I'm married to one of the best medics I know. We talk shop, talk about our days, and then get on with life.
Work is not exciting, mostly painful, and you rarely, if ever will actually save a life. If you do happen to actually save a life, well, good job doing your job, cause that's what you signed up for.
In a 20 year career, I can point to about 8 calls that really spun my head, and half of those were my own fault for my screwups on the scenes.
The only real preparation needed for your girlfriend is to get used to sleeping alone and rescheduling holidays. The rest will be fine as long as you approach your job with a healthy attitude.
This job is not about saving lives as it is about making people's worst days a little more tolerable.
Work is not exciting, mostly painful, and you rarely, if ever will actually save a life. If you do happen to actually save a life, well, good job doing your job, cause that's what you signed up for.
In a 20 year career, I can point to about 8 calls that really spun my head, and half of those were my own fault for my screwups on the scenes.
The only real preparation needed for your girlfriend is to get used to sleeping alone and rescheduling holidays. The rest will be fine as long as you approach your job with a healthy attitude.
This job is not about saving lives as it is about making people's worst days a little more tolerable.
MadMedic
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Sorry to jump off topic, but I promise to keep it clean
Yea, I've worked both and I do like the 48/96. It allows me more time at home to get stuff done around the house and within life. 24/48 was good when I started because I only had a 2 days before I got back in the game. But now I find that I have more time to unwind and step away for it. Most of the city is on it, but there are a few stations that do standing 24's that are not. If I was running on average 16-20 calls in 24 hours, I'm not sure I would want to stay on for 48 and run 40 calls. I don't think anyone can be sharp after 20+ calls in a single shift.
abckidsmom
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This sounds like something Apple should know about. Does your mentor want to be in a commercial?
Tons of people do this. FaceTime is the total best.
I don't know what you guys are talking about.
This is pretty much how my past work week went down.
You guys need to step up your game!
Seriously, OP, slowwwww it down. You are going to pick up hobos, not drive through raging infernos/explosions and dodge bullets in gunfights.
Actually, that is my average day when I don't get my coffee.
WuLabsWuTecH
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