I have been gone from this site a while. So much has happened. AFter a very long illness, my husband passed away in May and I am of course having a horrible time dealing with it. What was the most comforting of this situation, which we knew was coming, but came too soon, was that though he was DOA the medics on scene were instructors in my paramedic program so it helped to have wonderful medics who I already knew and trusted. And just to confirm what I already knew, its refreshing to know that those who teach can REALLY do. And do very very well. So, since than I had no choice but to jump back in, and am now beginning my paramedic schooling. I go back and forth with the should I or shouldnt I routine. But My husband would not have wanted me to just wallow. I wasnot in a situation where I had the luxury of taking too much time off or allowing my fears to get me. I am finishing up the last two prerequisites for getting into the paramedic program. its been tough, I am battling depression and anger. Somehow I am managing fairly well, but its difficult. I soooo need a break. But I have teens that need my help and with their drama and mine, I just got to go on. So hopefully I will keep checking in from time to time. Next stop...ADVANCED TRAUMA. I am not worried about pharm...but I am terrified with trauma. Any advice?