Do you share work stories with your girl?
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abckidsmom
Dances with Patients
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We're both in EMS, and freely share, although it's more the interpersonal junk that bothers us, and less the calls.
Shishkabob
Forum Chief
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I don't have a girl... thanks for reminding me (and JT... and usually lights, but NOOO)
I tell my parents and siblings from time to time if they ask, but they don't really have the right mentality for most of it.
I tell my parents and siblings from time to time if they ask, but they don't really have the right mentality for most of it.
I think dating someone who is also a health care professional definitely makes it easier to share. Although, its nice to have a separation sometimes too and leave work at work.
abckidsmom
Dances with Patients
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We've been married for over a decade. I honestly haven't experienced any other way.
I'll share funny stories, such as the shim that cut herself while inserting a bottle (that part wasn't funny, but other parts of that call were), the time I had the guy that got his fist stuck up his rectum, or maybe something positive like deliveries that went well. She wouldn't know what to make of a peds arrest call, a "cool" trauma, an ugly arrest, etc.
lampnyter
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What was the dispatch for that lol?
You're right about that. I was feeling a little down after a nasty job. We were called to pronounce a one year old. As the mother described it, the baby daddy had been growing increasingly annoyed by the baby crying, needing to eat, and that the mother wasn't giving him enough "attention." It was described that he took the baby by the ankles, and repeatedly swung her against the wall. I'm not going to decribe what I saw when I entered the room. Anyway, I needed to talk about it, especially since my little one was around the same age. My wife just said that she didn't want to hear about it. Understandable that the lay person would not want that mental picture. I had a strange job where around the corner from a hotel, we found a naked, deceased man wrapped in carpet, inside of a shopping cart, middle of summer, tons of flies and such. What made it bizarre was that he had to have been dead for a few days, and the cart was in plain view of the apartments across the street. Someone in EMS would be interested talking about how that was a poor attempt at hiding the body, and why no one reported it, until a hotel worker found the cart. A lay person either wouldn't want the picture of a bloated body, sloughing skin and bugs, or they wouldn't feel comfortable discussing possible reasons for that situation.
Injury minor. There was no description over the air. Ususally they would say "46 Young for the diff breather," or something. Ususally rape calls are silent, and so was this. The text on the CAD (it was like six or seven years ago) said "XX y/o male, unable to remove fist from his rectum, quite simple.
The shim (she/him) call was very explicit - XX y/o female bleeding from vaginal area from trying to insert a bottle. Bottle did not break and has been dislodged. No other ALS symptoms. (It was a pre surgery shim, just hormones). This wasn't the first time this happened, said both the pt and the triage nurse.
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First of all... What a sexist topic! What if the EMS provider in the relationship were female? And I'm not going to even DISCUSS other relationship possibilities (I've got friends of all types!).
Anyway - a significant other who's medically trained makes decompressing a little easier. It really depends on the relationship. Someone outside of our world isn't going to understand why we think how we find a body is funny, etc.
Anyway - a significant other who's medically trained makes decompressing a little easier. It really depends on the relationship. Someone outside of our world isn't going to understand why we think how we find a body is funny, etc.
adamjh3
Forum Culinary Powerhouse
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Don't have a girl anymore... I venture to guess it's because of the stories, she broke up with me shortly after I started in EMS.
Probably thought I was messed up in the head for laughing at the stuff I did. :lol:
Probably thought I was messed up in the head for laughing at the stuff I did. :lol:
Oh yeah, if I run a call for something minor, like the 25 y/o with a headache at 0300 (literally!), for one hour, no attempts at self medicating, or the various N&V/diarrhea calls (I've had several such episodes, miserable, but calling for a bus never crossed my mind), for much less time that it would take a healthy 20-30 something male to dehydrate significantly, I can't vent to my wife. I might crack a joke that we should have asked for their "man card," and that the nurse at the ED said the same. I'm being insensitive by saying that in her eyes. I explain that we're professional, treat the pt well, and appear empathetic, but it doesn't matter. Our black humor can be difficult to relate to for some people.
I'll offer that a female EMT's male significant other can better handle their war stories, than the female partner to a male EMT, generally speaking. We saw faces of death, and like material before I ever got involved in EMS. People watch videos of accidents, go to sites like rotten.com, etc. all the time. Typically males, I'm sure.
LucidResq
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As I made the move from part-time work and school to full-time work, I've found myself sharing less and less. Sometimes I'm just too worn out at the end of the day to want to discuss anything work-related.
My boyfriend recently had his first cardiac arrest... it was a :censored::censored::censored::censored:ty call because she was talking and seemed pretty ok but crashed in the back on the ride in. We talked about that one a lot.
I've become quit the **** magnet in dispatch and even in a few months have had dozens of DOAs of all ages ... I didn't think it would be that difficult and most of the time it isn't. Then I had a man come home to his wife, in her 40's with no major medical problems, unconscious... as he came in closer to her I heard the unmistakable sound of agonal respirations. I listened as she stopped breathing, her husband panicking, as the units were coming on scene.
That one kinda messed with my head.
You know, I found that I didn't want to talk about that one too much at first, but I think every once in a while everyone gets a call that eats at them. I, for one, couldn't imagine being in the most intimate of relationships with someone I didn't feel I could share those stories with.
As harsh as they are, they're real and the ones that really hit home have formed who I am as a person. Just as knowing the story of my boyfriend's brother's death has helped me to understand who he is, I think sharing the calls that really touch a nerve help him understand me.
My boyfriend recently had his first cardiac arrest... it was a :censored::censored::censored::censored:ty call because she was talking and seemed pretty ok but crashed in the back on the ride in. We talked about that one a lot.
I've become quit the **** magnet in dispatch and even in a few months have had dozens of DOAs of all ages ... I didn't think it would be that difficult and most of the time it isn't. Then I had a man come home to his wife, in her 40's with no major medical problems, unconscious... as he came in closer to her I heard the unmistakable sound of agonal respirations. I listened as she stopped breathing, her husband panicking, as the units were coming on scene.
That one kinda messed with my head.
You know, I found that I didn't want to talk about that one too much at first, but I think every once in a while everyone gets a call that eats at them. I, for one, couldn't imagine being in the most intimate of relationships with someone I didn't feel I could share those stories with.
As harsh as they are, they're real and the ones that really hit home have formed who I am as a person. Just as knowing the story of my boyfriend's brother's death has helped me to understand who he is, I think sharing the calls that really touch a nerve help him understand me.
medicRob
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I keep the heavy stuff to myself, and only share the happy stuff.
I agree with this, I told her a story of when this 2 y/o vomited all over my shirt, baby puke!
I realized the other day that she really has no idea of some of the things I see at work. The main reason I was thinking about explaining more of what its like to be a medic, is because with girls that I date they usually don't understand how I cant go in to work on only a few hours sleep.
So I was thinking it would make her understand more about me....
But really in the end its MY career and up to ME to handle my business. Family didn't sign up for the same thing we all did.
Soco_and_Lime
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Pretty much this.
She loves hearing about the funny/stupid stuff, but I know she will shut me up if things get too gross. I often omit parts of a story to make them seem less gory than they really were.
Its not a sexist topic. You think women and men are the same? they aren't. Women and men handle stresses differently and the relationship situation is different.
My thread just relates to my situation, and is not discriminatory or sexist.
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medicRob
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Do what I do.. find you an ugly girl that way no one will want to fight you for her.