Not taking your work home with you.

[Fry14MN]

I am a Security Officer and Dispatcher at a very large hospital and today was a particularly rough day for me. The ER was packed to capacity with patients and several we had to call codes for. But there was one patient specifically that pulled at my heart. She was an older lady that was there because she truly wanted help and was scared with all the commotion going on. She was NOT a patient we had to call a code for, she was just scared. She happened to come in about 45 minutes before the end of my shift and as I was leaving she was begging me to not leave her; she was holding my hand and crying. At the time she came in we also had 3 ambulances bring patients back that were already restrained and combative so naturally they had the majority of our attention.

I guess what I am getting at is I feel bad for leaving her. She felt safe with me there and I couldn't stay.Of course she is safe with the nurses and doctors but how do you "let go" of those special patients that pull at your heart.

 

[NysEms2117]

I am going to sound like a ruthless *** right now, but by not getting attached to people. By no means am I saying not do your job, but if you can do that efficiently and not get attached I think that would be the way to go.
Sorry if that comes off bitter, just can't think of a better way to word it

 

[Fry14MN]

Nys, we know each other enough now and you should know I don't think you are an *** or come off rude.

I've had no issues in the past with getting attached to patients but this particular one just got to me. It had been a rough afternoon already and she came in right in the middle of several high risk patients. She was scared and attached herself to me. I just feel bad. This isn't the norm for me by any means.

 

[Qulevrius]

I am a Security Officer and Dispatcher at a very large hospital and today was a particularly rough day for me. The ER was packed to capacity with patients and several we had to call codes for. But there was one patient specifically that pulled at my heart. She was an older lady that was there because she truly wanted help and was scared with all the commotion going on. She was NOT a patient we had to call a code for, she was just scared. She happened to come in about 45 minutes before the end of my shift and as I was leaving she was begging me to not leave her; she was holding my hand and crying. At the time she came in we also had 3 ambulances bring patients back that were already restrained and combative so naturally they had the majority of our attention.

I guess what I am getting at is I feel bad for leaving her. She felt safe with me there and I couldn't stay.Of course she is safe with the nurses and doctors but how do you "let go" of those special patients that pull at your heart.

I fell into that particular trap when I just started working on a rig. And if there's anything I've learnt from it, is that it's ok to feel for a patient, but you're not there to cry with them.

 

[Fry14MN]

That is so very true Qulevrius. I've had patients that I've felt bad for but this lady just got to a spot in my heart that I didn't realize I had for patients at work.

 

[Flying]

I think back to a person we transported who had contracted HIV and had multiple deaths in the family within a very short period of time. There was little I could do for someone who was so emotionally and spiritually screwed besides offer frank conversation, a hug, and a little indirect advocacy at the ED.

Today I feel I did the best as a caretaker at the time for that person and will be hard pressed to lose sleep over their suffering. I don't know if you might feel the same as I did, occasionally wishing to do just a little bit more for those who seem to be a little out of our comfort zone.

I try to build these events into my work, to be able to come in the next day and find others in similar situations whom I can help with my past experience, maybe even as a way to recompense. I'm not sure if this is realistic in the long run (probably not), but I am able to come out of work satisfied with what I have done for folks.

Having a confidant and a psychiatrist helps too.

 

[Chimpie]

@Fry14MN First, great job. As stated above, we all feel your pain. It's a ***** being empathetic, huh?

Second, does your hospital have volunteers? Maybe call one of them to come down and stay with the patient.

 

[Fry14MN]

I think back to a person we transported who had contracted HIV and had multiple deaths in the family within a very short period of time. There was little I could do for someone who was so emotionally and spiritually screwed besides offer frank conversation, a hug, and a little indirect advocacy at the ED.

Today I feel I did the best as a caretaker at the time for that person and will be hard pressed to lose sleep over their suffering. I don't know if you might feel the same as I did, occasionally wishing to do just a little bit more for those who seem to be a little out of our comfort zone.

I try to build these events into my work, to be able to come in the next day and find others in similar situations whom I can help with my past experience, maybe even as a way to recompense. I'm not sure if this is realistic in the long run (probably not), but I am able to come out of work satisfied with what I have done for folks.

Having a confidant and a psychiatrist helps too.

Thanks for your insite, Flying. I'd like to think that I will take this experience and use it for the next person that may come in and pull at my heart. I don't know if it was just because of a particularly tough day or what but she got to me.

 

[Fry14MN]

@Fry14MN First, great job. As stated above, we all feel your pain. It's a ***** being empathetic, huh?

Second, does your hospital have volunteers? Maybe call one of them to come down and stay with the patient.

A lot of the officers have told me that the sympathetic feeling will go away and you will learn to not let it get to you but I don't want it to "go away" I just want it to not bother me. I had to go hands on with a patient a couple hours earlier who was spitting on me and just physically draining and then we had a couple guys come in almost right after another with EMS who were already restrained and then there she was. She was in the hallway just scared and almost hiding herself in her friends shoulder. She was scared of the loud noises and crying. Her nurse was busy with the patients causing a scene and all she wanted was to feel safe and for someone to reassure her that. Nurses have so much going on and are very stressed but all she needed was a minute of their time. I think some of the officers forget that we don't have to be tough all the time, we can feel compassion. I'm rambling but she was so scared and I wish I could of stayed with her.

As for the volunteers, we have them but the situation around her was wat to unsafe for a person not trained in BCS or anything like that. They mainly help the patient transporters get patients from room to room and what not.

 

[Qulevrius]

A lot of the officers have told me that the sympathetic feeling will go away and you will learn to not let it get to you but I don't want it to "go away" I just want it to not bother me.

At a risk of sounding too esoteric, but I strongly recommend reading some Castaneda. Specifically, The Eagle's Gift, the part that addresses the luminous cocoon and the desire to get attached.

 

[Fry14MN]

At a risk of sounding too esoteric, but I strongly recommend reading some Castaneda. Specifically, The Eagle's Gift, the part that addresses the luminous cocoon and the desire to get attached.

I will most definitely look into this. I love a good read.

 

[Qulevrius]

I will most definitely look into this. I love a good read.

Good, a fellow reader. His concepts might seem quite foreign at first, but as long as you don't take them for face value, he has plenty of interesting insights.

 

[Fry14MN]

Good, a fellow reader. His concepts might seem quite foreign at first, but as long as you don't take them for face value, he has plenty of interesting insights.

When I'm not working or going to school, which is rare these days, I enjoy a good book in a quit room. The hospital is a loud, hectic place so I try to make my outside of work life as far from that as possible. That's why this whole feeling of wishing I did more and feeling like I left her is so tough for me I think. I've been able to seperate the two until now.

I will get over this.

 

[NomadicMedic]

I had a patient with dementia at the clinic yesterday. Lovely lady, reminded me of my mom. I held her hands and talked softly to her while the PA put some staples in her head after a fall. Nothing wrong with being compassionate.

 

[VentMonkey]

I have a soft spot for itty bitty granny's and de bey-beyz, especially if they're the child of a young ignorant parent who doesn't know what proper healthcare yields, and/ or as a result gets blown off by said burned out ED(s) resulting in the poor child developing an illness that could have been prevented.

I have seen this happen way too often. Nonetheless, @Fry14MN my take: it's ok to let it bug ya, it's not ok to wallow and/ or carry it around. That's what we're here for, EMS familía.

 

[NomadicMedic]

When I'm not working or going to school, which is rare these days, I enjoy a good book in a quit room. The hospital is a loud, hectic place so I try to make my outside of work life as far from that as possible. That's why this whole feeling of wishing I did more and feeling like I left her is so tough for me I think. I've been able to seperate the two until now.

I will get over this.

You're a good egg. Don't ever stop caring.

I hear a lot of first responders say things like, "I hate people". If you do this job, you can't hate people. You can hate things that some people do, and hate the situation that people may be in... but you have to really, deep down, like people to be a good caregiver of any sort.

 

[Fry14MN]

I have a soft spot for itty bitty granny's and de bey-beyz, especially if they're the child of a young ignorant parent who doesn't know what proper healthcare yields, and/ or as a result gets blown off by said burned out ED(s) resulting in the poor child developing an illness that could have been prevented.

I have seen this happen way too often. Nonetheless, @Fry14MN my take: it's ok to let it bug ya, it's not ok to wallow and/ or carry it around. That's what we're here for, EMS familía.

You're awesome VM. This place is filled with some pretty cool cats that have loads of experience that you can't put a price on. I'm not an EMT or Paramedic but I do see patients, just in a different way. I knew I'd get some good insite.

 

[Fry14MN]

You're a good egg. Don't ever stop caring.

I hear a lot of first responders say things like, "I hate people". If you do this job, you can't hate people. You can hate things that some people do, and hate the situation that people may be in... but you have to really, deep down, like people to be a good caregiver of any sort.

DEmedic, thank you. I had a LEO tell me the secret to a lasting career in this field is to not allow others negative feelings for people or the job effect the outcome you want to have. Very wise man I am seeing now.

 

[VentMonkey]

DEmedic, thank you. I had a LEO tell me the secret to a lasting career in this field is to not allow others negative feelings for people or the job effect the outcome you want to have. Very wise man I am seeing now.

To add to this, your own. Take a break if/ when needed. Self reflection and humility have very much kept me afloat when I felt as though I may have been neck deep in a flood.

 

[NysEms2117]

DEmedic, thank you. I had a LEO tell me the secret to a lasting career in this field is to not allow others negative feelings for people or the job effect the outcome you want to have. Very wise man I am seeing now.

You scared me for a second... Then I realized I'm not wise , but I'm glad you got some expert opinions !