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| EMS Humor It's humor what gets us through the shift, and now you can share your EMS humor with the rest of us. |
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04-26-2007, 09:06 AM
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#1 |
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Forum Crew Member
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Grand Rapids, MI
Posts: 83
Training: EMT-Basic
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No sex since 1955
A crusty old Marine Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event
hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young, idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation. "Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering you?" "Negative, ma'am. Just serious by nature." The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, "It looks like you have seen a lot of action." "Yes, ma'am, a lot of action." The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, "You know, you should lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself." The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner. Finally the young lady said, "You know, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but when is the last time you had sex?" "1955, ma'am." "Well, there you are. You really need to chill out and quit taking everything so seriously! I mean, no sex since 1955! She took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to "relax" him several times. Afterwards, panting for breath, she leaned against his bare chest and said, "Wow, you sure didn't forget much since 1955!" The Sergeant Major, glancing at his watch, said in his matter-of-fact voice, "I hope not, it's only 2130 now." (Don't ya love military time)
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04-26-2007, 11:23 AM
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#2 |
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Forum Lieutenant
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Middle of Nowhere, Virginia
Posts: 242
Training: EMT-Basic
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BUHWAH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!
Holy cow, I just spurted an entire mouthful of root beer out onto the keyboard when I read that...You made my day; thanks!
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Note to self: There is no such thing as “The 2x4 of Immunity” and I should stop swinging it at drunk patients who have repeatedly had the **** beat out of them in order to attempt to render them immune to future trauma. |
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04-27-2007, 09:15 PM
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#3 |
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Forum Lieutenant
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 214
Training: EMT-Basic
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA
fell off my seat !!! good one !!
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You need to live each day as if it was the last time you will ever see your husband, wife, daughter, son, brother, father, mother, cousins, and friends cause one day may be today. Unless i'm on call and have something to say about it. 
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04-27-2007, 09:35 PM
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#4 |
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I put the M in EMTLife
Community Leader
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Down South
Posts: 1,000,003,599
Training: EMT-Basic
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I LOLed.
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Matt EMT-B |
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04-27-2007, 10:01 PM
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#5 |
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Forum Crew Member
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 50
Training: EMT-Basic
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Holy Cow I just sprayed coffee all over my computer screen
 From a former Marine, let me say... That was funny!!!!!!!
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davis513 |
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05-11-2007, 03:59 AM
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#6 |
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Rampart this is Squad 51!
Chat Room Host
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: The north country in Santa Barbara Ca.
Posts: 1,923
Training: EMT-Basic
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Loved It!!!
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Anna, EMT-1 "Walk with grace and listen, you shall be told of great things and you will learn from them!" "The patient is in extreme pain Rampart! 
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05-11-2007, 08:04 AM
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#7 |
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Forum Ride Along
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Collingwood, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2
Training: EMT-Paramedic
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Excellent
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05-13-2007, 02:42 AM
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#8 |
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Forum Lieutenant
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 110
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That made my day!
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05-14-2007, 11:23 AM
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#9 |
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Forum Crew Member
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Riverside, CA
Posts: 58
Training: Student
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Very witty. Most jokes go past me or have no impact but I like this.
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09-08-2007, 11:36 AM
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#10 |
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Forum Probie
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: connellsville
Posts: 17
Training: EMT-Basic
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Good stuff i wanna see more
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