40 things I would like to say out loud at work …

[ClarkKent]

1.I can see your point, but I still think you’re full of s_it.

2.I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce.

3.How about never? Is never good for you?

4.I see you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

5.I’m really easy to get along with once you people learn to see if my way.

6.I’ll try being nicer if you try being smarter.

7.I’m out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.

8.I don’t work here. I am a consultant.

9.It sounds like English, but I can’t understand a word you are saying.

10. Ahh…I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again…

11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.

12. You are validating my inherent distrust of strangers.

13. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don’t give a damn.

14. I’m already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

16. Thank you. We’re all refreshed and challenged by you unique point of view.

17. The fact that no one understands you doesn’t mean you are an artist.

18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks?

20. I’m not being rude. You’re just insignificant.

21. It’s a thankless job, but I’ve got a lot of Karma to burn off.

22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.

23. And your crybaby whiny-a_sed opinion would be…?

24. Do I look like a people person?

25. This isn’t an office. It’s Hell with fluorescent lighting.

26. I started out with nothing and still have most of it left.

27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?

29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

31. I’m trying to imagine you with a personality.

32. Can I trade this job for what behind door #1?

33. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.

34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?

36. Chaos, panic and disorder – my work here is done.

37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?

38. I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted a salary.

39. Who lit the fuse on your tampon?

40. Oh I get it…like humor…but different.

[Naota_X]

hah i like this one "It’s a thankless job, but I’ve got a lot of Karma to burn off "
very funny stuff

[EMTRabbit]

can this apply to my EMT-B Class because i swear i've said half of this under my breath
very funny

[mycrofft]

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/news/1148380/posts

OOPs be prepared for a little pottymouth in that link

[MTEMTB]

41. You just freaked out my PT that I just got calm. Now I'm going to punch you in the mouth.

[mycrofft]

Okay, #41: "When a code patient expires, could you try to refrain from that 'Ladies and Gentlemen, Elvis has LEFT the building!!!' horsehockey?"

[firetender]

Please put down the donut, Officer, and mug him until I get my intubation equipment out.

[wolfwyndd]

Most of these could apply for ANY job, not just EMS.

My personal favorite is 24.

Do I look like a people person?

[medicRob]

Sometimes, I just have the urge to scream DRT or FUBAR (Just the acronym not the actual words, that would be impolite )

[mycrofft]

The paper goes in HERE, the reset button is THERE, and if all else fails turn it off and on. If you don't get it right, next time I'll demonstrate on you.