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EMS Humor It's humor what gets us through the shift, and now you can share your EMS humor with the rest of us.

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Old 09-25-2009, 02:32 PM   #1
ethorp
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guy gets pulled over with his wife in his car


A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, " I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir."

The driver says, "Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating."

Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: "Now don't be silly dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control."

As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, "Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?"

The wife smiles demurely and says, "You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did."

As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth,"Woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?"

The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine."

The driver says, "Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket."

The wife says, "Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving."

And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks, "WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??"

The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?"

(I love this part....)

"Only when he's been drinking."


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Old 09-25-2009, 03:22 PM   #2
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That's hilarious!
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Old 09-25-2009, 04:04 PM   #3
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Nice

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Old 09-25-2009, 04:05 PM   #4
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Try this variant:

Guy's driving at a highway rate on surface streets with a whte rag tired to his door handle to indicate he has an emergency. Pulled over by local cop, wouldn't shut off engine but with window down slurrily shouted his wife was having a baby. She was drunk also and allegedly chiming in with such as "That's right!". Officer tried to lean in and grab keys, car lurched forward and the officer shot and killed the driver at PBR. Driver later showed about 4.0 (!!) blood alcohol, and wife was nowhere near delivery.

This helped set off the Watts Riots of 1965 in Los Angeles.
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Old 09-25-2009, 04:50 PM   #5
ethorp
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mycrofft View Post
Guy's driving at a highway rate on surface streets with a whte rag tired to his door handle to indicate he has an emergency. Pulled over by local cop, wouldn't shut off engine but with window down slurrily shouted his wife was having a baby. She was drunk also and allegedly chiming in with such as "That's right!". Officer tried to lean in and grab keys, car lurched forward and the officer shot and killed the driver at PBR. Driver later showed about 4.0 (!!) blood alcohol, and wife was nowhere near delivery.

This helped set off the Watts Riots of 1965 in Los Angeles.
o dang i never knew that, thats crazy
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Old 09-25-2009, 06:21 PM   #6
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And the driver's son bacame a police officer in the same dept.

Look up "Leonard Dettweiler"
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Old 09-28-2009, 12:18 AM   #7
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Way to ruin a funny thread.
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Old 09-30-2009, 03:39 PM   #8
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Guy in his car speeding on the highway. Cop starts the chase. For whatever reason, the guy does not pull over. Chase continues, cop is getting ready to call in help when the driver signals, pulls to the side, stops and waits. Cop gets out, goes over to the guy (I know - rural WI - other areas of the country the driver would be shot) and says "make it good"
Guy says " My wife ran off with a cop 2 weeks ago. I was scared he was bringing her back."
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Old 09-30-2009, 08:43 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaisu View Post
Guy in his car speeding on the highway. Cop starts the chase. For whatever reason, the guy does not pull over. Chase continues, cop is getting ready to call in help when the driver signals, pulls to the side, stops and waits. Cop gets out, goes over to the guy (I know - rural WI - other areas of the country the driver would be shot) and says "make it good"
Guy says " My wife ran off with a cop 2 weeks ago. I was scared he was bringing her back."
hahahah thats a good one
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Old 10-04-2009, 05:41 PM   #10
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True Story

I can't remember where this happened, Wisconsin I think......

A drunk guy decided to sleep it off in his car that happened to be parked in a snow drift on the side of the highway. A State Trooper came up to his window and tapped on it. The drunk opened his eyes and seeing the cop, freaked out and cranked his car really fast. He threw the car in gear and put the pedal to the metal. He was still VERY intoxicated at this time, and didn't notice that his wheels kept spinning but he was going nowhere (Fast)! The Trooper decided to mess with him a little and started running in place beside the car. The speedometer was reaching about 50 at this point! This went on for about 2-3 minutes, and finally, the drunk totally freaked out by a trooper that could run 50 mph and not break a sweat!!! The trooper yelled to the drunk to "Pull over". The drunk whipped the steering wheel to the right and stopped the car. He was arrested then but will never forget the day the cop kept up with his speeding car!!!

Who says troopers don't have a sence of humor??? LOL
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