Funny one liners you've said to overheard to a patient

[martor]

Originally Posted by nemedic

It means thy stopped at the liquor store before they picked up the patient.

Ok thanks. A period probably would have helped.

[cointosser13]

Not sure if it's funny, or you just had to be their to understand the circumstance.

pt: wait, you're gonna stick me with a needle?
medic: yup, we're gonna need to.
pt: I hate sticks
medic:... I love sticks... that's the only reason I wanted to get hired at the firehouse, to play around with sticks......

Patient didn't get the joke, he must of been so out of it.

[TheLocalMedic]

Brought a homeless guy in the other day. Everything was cool like Fonzie until we dropped him off in the ED and he started yelling that we stole a hundred bucks from his wallet... Sigh...

[hogdweeb]

just recently, transporting a patient who was 69 yr old, partner looks at her "Thats a good number". get to ER, patient was complaining cause she was only in a night gown and the dr says to her "Dont worry, anything we havent seen yet, we'll shoot it".

[SkyRider]

We got a call of an auto/ped on the freeway. The pt had run from the police onto the freeway, been thrown off several cars and then run over by a big rig. We got there and the pt was pretty mangled, but his head had been run over by the big rig tire and exploded.
I asked the captain of the FD what he needed and he said he just wanted me to confirm the pt was DOA. I told the Captain, the guy had no head, of course he was dead, the Captain said he just needed confirmation for his paperwork.
I got out the monitor paddles, put them on the pts chest and shook the paddles. The captain, looking at the monitor, not me, turned six shades of white and said "Holy ...., he's still alive, now what do we do?"
My partner almost needed resuscitation after that. The Captain didn't talk to me for weeks after that

[TheLocalMedic]

Originally Posted by SkyRider

We got a call of an auto/ped on the freeway. The pt had run from the police onto the freeway, been thrown off several cars and then run over by a big rig. We got there and the pt was pretty mangled, but his head had been run over by the big rig tire and exploded.
I asked the captain of the FD what he needed and he said he just wanted me to confirm the pt was DOA. I told the Captain, the guy had no head, of course he was dead, the Captain said he just needed confirmation for his paperwork.
I got out the monitor paddles, put them on the pts chest and shook the paddles. The captain, looking at the monitor, not me, turned six shades of white and said "Holy ...., he's still alive, now what do we do?"
My partner almost needed resuscitation after that. The Captain didn't talk to me for weeks after that

Tapping the RA lead is also fun. Try it next time you're trying to pick up a patient from a tele unit and you can't find their nurse.

[jefftherealmccoy]

Not EMS related, but still so damn funny...

Responded to a power pole on fire. Excited cop on scene runs up to us and asks, "what can I do for you guys?" Almost jumping out of his skin with excitment. My driver responds, "Nothing, unless you got some doughnuts in your car." The cop quickly lost his enthusiasm.

[medicrd]

Hilarious!

[chillybreeze]

Originally Posted by jefftherealmccoy

Not EMS related, but still so damn funny...

Responded to a power pole on fire. Excited cop on scene runs up to us and asks, "what can I do for you guys?" Almost jumping out of his skin with excitment. My driver responds, "Nothing, unless you got some doughnuts in your car." The cop quickly lost his enthusiasm.